So today was supposed to be another wound vac change. That is what is protecting his calf muscle and preparing it for skin. Well Karsen was running a fever from about 5pm till today. Karsen's Ortho doc was concerned it was an infection in his leg so she wanted to do the change in the OR so that she could clean it out right there if it needed it. He ended up going into surgery at 3:30 and I knew it was going to be fast and smooth I was worried there would be an infection. I also had a hard time because as they wheeled him away he cried for momma over and over. Saddest thing I ever heard I told him he was ok and I loved him and would see him after his nap. I then turned around an broke down. I pulled myself together to go get some food we went down to the cafeteria and nothing sounded good.
Early that day I received a phone call from Jared the guy that Kim Cowdell set up to come pick up my car and have it detailed. Mind you I have not been in the car since we got here. Rick had and said it was getting pretty stinky. Well Kim, Krista Johnson and the rest of my Mary Kay sisters set up for this wonderful guy to come pick up my car and take care of it. He had called this morning to tell me it was in the parking lot ready for me. I told Rick I am starving we have 30 minutes lets go to 400 S. everything is there. So we went to the car and this guy is AMAZING no signs of the blood or any smell. I was so grateful that I wouldn't have to see it again. THANK YOU TO ALL MY MARY KAY SISTERS YOU MEAN THE WORLD TO ME!! We darted out of there and went to Subway. It was yummi...
We came back and as we were eating with Amber, Casey and Riley the Dr. came in and told us there was nothing to worry about and that it all looked great. I WAS SO HAPPY! As you could imagine. But it still didn't explain the fever. We have done lots of tests and really no explanation yet. But we did get him out playing and moving today and that helped him a lot. They told us it would so it pays to play. He is doing good now. I promised him fruit snacks when he woke up so he had 4 bags and 2 things of pudding and requested blue Gatorade. FYI there is none in this hospital so Ginger and Tammy were here and so graciously said we will run to 711 and get him some. He was happy and played playdoh for a little bit. He is now hanging out coloring in his coloring book and chillin' with dad watching a movie.
Thanks again for all the prayers. I know without a doubt Heavenly Father is listening. I asked my brother to help Rick give Karsen a blessing this morning and I am so grateful for the Priesthood in my family. I am so grateful for a wonderful Father in Heaven that is blessing us beyond belief in this time of need.
Anyhow
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Rick updates us...
Karsen is out. All went well. No infection in the leg. They still can't pinpoint the cause of his fever. Next step, skin grafts friday afternoon.
Nicole says,
I just sent my baby back in for surgery again and listened to him cry for momma all the way down the hall. It breaks my heart but I know he's in good hands. We are dashing to get food. Thanks to my MK girlfriends, my car is clean with no trace of the blood. I'll keep ya posted when he gets out.
Another Surgery...
Karsen has been running a fever since yesterday. They have been giving him Tylenol to help bring it down but it goes right back up. They think it might be an infection in his blood or in his leg. They did the blood culture and that can take 1-3 days to actually show anything. Our Ortho Surgeon just came in and told us instead of doing the wound vac change at 9:30 they are going to take him back to the OR at 2. That way if his leg is infected they can just clean it then and there. He hasn't been too uncomfortable just sleepy and lethargic. Please keep praying with me. I have seen so many blessings through the power of the Priesthood and prayer. Thank you all I love you!
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Nicole says,
"I want you to know how much I love you all for loving me & my beautiful family. Karsen has had a bit of a rough day & is a little feverish but he is ok. He's not in too much pain thanks to all his meds. I'm just not a fan of this situation & it looks like we won't be home till next week."
RUN KARSEN RUN Fundraiser event....
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running shoes, etc to the 5 K
RUN KARSEN RUN Fundraiser
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This is a great opportunity to make a huge impact on Karsen's life
100% of the donations will go to Karsen Mery Recovery trust fund!
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When: Oct 24th 8am
Where: 7982 S Grizzly Way, West Jordan, Ut
Why: To help Karsen!!
Unable to make it? You can still help by making a
donation via the link on the right!
Kickin Bootie for Karsen.....
Candace Aaron, doesn't even know the Mery family. But her heart goes out to Karsen and what the family is facing these days. In support of Karsen, she's
KICKIN' Bootie for Karsen!
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This Saturday, Candace Aaron is running the St George Marathon. In support of Karsen, she's donating money for every mile that she runs! She said, " Hopefully this will be helpful to them financially, and I know it will help me push through the painful miles at the end of the marathon. Lots of prayers and positive thoughts going out to their family!" She said she is going to get many of her friends and family to also donate for every mile that she runs. Anyone else like to join us and donate for every mile??? I'm sure it will help encourage Candice AND definitely help the Mery family! Post in the comments if you'd like to jump in!
We will be staying in touch with Candace and will post the results here on the blog.
Thanks Candace! Kick Bootie for Karsen!!
Here's details of the event:
St. George Marathon
Saturday, October 3rd, 2009 6:45 am
From Central, UT to St. George, UT
Distance: 26.2 miles (Perhaps everyone could donate $1 per mile) Every bit helps!
Tuesday Quick Update
I thought I would just update you on Karsen's current condition. Yesterday the did a wound vac change. Rick & I were able to stay in the room and see his leg. We did snap a few pics but not sure we should put them up. He did great his skin and muscles are doing awesome. The wound team checked it and everything is still alive and well. They will do another vac change tomorrow as well. The wound vac is protecting the calf muscle and area that is exposed and is helping prepare the area for skin.
He is off the morphine and is currently on 4 medications. One is for pain, One for his spasms, another one for his nerve endings to help curb phantom pains and then his antibiotic.
He has his great moments and not so great moments. When he is feeling decent he is up playing and having a good time. He deals with the pain well for the most part and doesn't complain too much but will tell us when he hurts. While he doesn't complain much it is painful to see him hurt. It is heartbreaking at times. But he is very independent as you could see in the climbing on the bed pictures. It will be hard to keep him down while we need to.
He is getting used to cuddling with Dad and Mom and loves it. I think he is really enjoying the one on one time with Daddy.
Karsen is eating but not all that great he has actually enjoyed all the goodies people have brought us or the food we get for ourselves. He ate my sandwich yesterday even though I ordered him one. I was totally ok with it. He needs to eat!
We will be doing skin grafts on Friday and may possibly be going home that day or the next. We will see. I know he is excited to go home he's tried to escape with both Grandma's, Aunt Tali and Aunt Chelsea.
He is a huge inspiration to me and is so brave and strong. I absolutely love him and from the time he entered into our lives I knew he completed our beautiful family and is here to serve a huge purpose. He already has done so much for me and I love sharing him and the rest of my amazing family with all of you.
Thank you for all of the prayers. I have seen them all in work and know without a doubt that Heavenly Father is listening to all of us. Thank you from Rick and I we love you all!!
He is off the morphine and is currently on 4 medications. One is for pain, One for his spasms, another one for his nerve endings to help curb phantom pains and then his antibiotic.
He has his great moments and not so great moments. When he is feeling decent he is up playing and having a good time. He deals with the pain well for the most part and doesn't complain too much but will tell us when he hurts. While he doesn't complain much it is painful to see him hurt. It is heartbreaking at times. But he is very independent as you could see in the climbing on the bed pictures. It will be hard to keep him down while we need to.
He is getting used to cuddling with Dad and Mom and loves it. I think he is really enjoying the one on one time with Daddy.
Karsen is eating but not all that great he has actually enjoyed all the goodies people have brought us or the food we get for ourselves. He ate my sandwich yesterday even though I ordered him one. I was totally ok with it. He needs to eat!
We will be doing skin grafts on Friday and may possibly be going home that day or the next. We will see. I know he is excited to go home he's tried to escape with both Grandma's, Aunt Tali and Aunt Chelsea.
He is a huge inspiration to me and is so brave and strong. I absolutely love him and from the time he entered into our lives I knew he completed our beautiful family and is here to serve a huge purpose. He already has done so much for me and I love sharing him and the rest of my amazing family with all of you.
Thank you for all of the prayers. I have seen them all in work and know without a doubt that Heavenly Father is listening to all of us. Thank you from Rick and I we love you all!!
Monday, September 28, 2009
Koins for Karsen.....
Koins for Karsen Event
This is something some of my Amazing Mary Kay Girlfriends have set up. Thanks Joy and Tammy. I love my MK Girls!!
| Host: | Malaree Hobbs |
| Type: | |
| Network: | Global |
| Date: | Monday, October 12, 2009 |
| Time: | 4:00pm - 11:00pm |
| Location: | Chilis |
| Street: | 3766w. 13400 s. |
| City/Town: | Riverton, UT |
| Phone: | 8018979503 |
| Email: |
PLEASE HELP US RAISE MONEY FOR THE KARSEN MERY FUND.
CHILI'S IS DONATING 10% OF ALL SALES MADE THAT NIGHT TO THE MERY FAMILY.
PLEASE COME AND HELP OUT THIS AMAZINGLY STRONG AND HAPPY YOUNG BOY
( DINE IN OR TAKE OUT)
Nicole and Rick celebrate the small steps....
Nicole,"I just watched Karsen climb out of his wagon onto his bed. My heart is so full of joy! Nothing's gonna hold my Ironman down."
Rick, "I just finished playing with Karsen. I got back to the room and told us he was going to get in bed by himself. So he did. He wouldn't let us touch him and he lifted himself up and got on his bed. Thanks everyone for the prayers and visits and support! I don't know where we'd b without all of you!!"
Oh the joys...
So the day this all happened I put on my FB status that I was going to have a good day even if it killed me. I was grumpy, upset, stressed out and sore. I was overwhelmed with the yard work, messy house, keeping up with kids, my husband finding out there's not much work and worrying about working more myself. Well then this all happened. So yesterday we wake up and I am excited Rick and I both actually slept and Karsen slept all night. So again I put we are going to have a good day and well I have learned my lesson.
Karsen was much more fussy, whiny and frustrated so it made it a hard day dealing with him and still wishing as parents we could take it all from him.
Then my oldest Jazmine calls and complains about a lump in her throat so I call our medical center and have my mom take her in and woohoo she has strep. AGAIN!! So of course I feel torn that I can't be in two places to be there for both of my children. UGH!! I am so grateful to my mother for having the kids and being able to take her in and the great neighbors Ruth and Jason.
Then Rick's grandparents were on their way up to visit us (actually on Saturday) and ended up taking a much needed detour to the VA Hospital. His Grandpa Leon wasn't feeling well and it was a good thing that he went because he was having a heart attack. They have kept him there and have done stress tests. He has had another heart attack since he's been there. One of them killed the lower part of his heart and the other has done some other damage. He won't find out till tomorrow if another stint will help. Leon is a very important person in our families and
THEN... Sunday evening I wasn't feeling well. I promise I have been eating and drinking but not as much as I usually do. (I work out every morning and drink a lot of water during and after and then follow it up with a protein shake). Since I am completely off my groove and well when I need to be there for Karsen my brain isn't thinking about food. So I ended up feeling overwhelmingly nauseous and ended up throwing up. Several times. I would sleep in between episodes and well it got to the point I was using the restroom stood up to wash my hands and thought I was going to throw up again and ended up slowly going to the floor. I sat by the door giving myself a pep talk in reaching up to get the door handle. I finally got it and fell out the door and called out for Rick my husband. He jumped up and helped me up and asked if I was ok I knew I wasn't so he walked me over to the U of U hospital ER. They took me back and my blood pressure was around 78/36 and I ended up needing 3 bags of IV fluid. NO FUN!! I was worried about Karsen being alone and Rick being so tired and worn out. They released me around 7 we came back to Karsen cuddling with our awesome nurse. We all then passed out till about 8:30 when they started preparing us for his Wound Vac/dressing change. That's a whole other post.
We are all feeling better now. Karsen is good just dealing with the pain. I feel almost back to 100%.
Karsen was much more fussy, whiny and frustrated so it made it a hard day dealing with him and still wishing as parents we could take it all from him.
Then my oldest Jazmine calls and complains about a lump in her throat so I call our medical center and have my mom take her in and woohoo she has strep. AGAIN!! So of course I feel torn that I can't be in two places to be there for both of my children. UGH!! I am so grateful to my mother for having the kids and being able to take her in and the great neighbors Ruth and Jason.
Then Rick's grandparents were on their way up to visit us (actually on Saturday) and ended up taking a much needed detour to the VA Hospital. His Grandpa Leon wasn't feeling well and it was a good thing that he went because he was having a heart attack. They have kept him there and have done stress tests. He has had another heart attack since he's been there. One of them killed the lower part of his heart and the other has done some other damage. He won't find out till tomorrow if another stint will help. Leon is a very important person in our families and
THEN... Sunday evening I wasn't feeling well. I promise I have been eating and drinking but not as much as I usually do. (I work out every morning and drink a lot of water during and after and then follow it up with a protein shake). Since I am completely off my groove and well when I need to be there for Karsen my brain isn't thinking about food. So I ended up feeling overwhelmingly nauseous and ended up throwing up. Several times. I would sleep in between episodes and well it got to the point I was using the restroom stood up to wash my hands and thought I was going to throw up again and ended up slowly going to the floor. I sat by the door giving myself a pep talk in reaching up to get the door handle. I finally got it and fell out the door and called out for Rick my husband. He jumped up and helped me up and asked if I was ok I knew I wasn't so he walked me over to the U of U hospital ER. They took me back and my blood pressure was around 78/36 and I ended up needing 3 bags of IV fluid. NO FUN!! I was worried about Karsen being alone and Rick being so tired and worn out. They released me around 7 we came back to Karsen cuddling with our awesome nurse. We all then passed out till about 8:30 when they started preparing us for his Wound Vac/dressing change. That's a whole other post.
We are all feeling better now. Karsen is good just dealing with the pain. I feel almost back to 100%.
Rick says....
I just watched the docs change out Karsen's wound vac. I was honestly surprised at how much leg is still there and how good the wound looks. He's doing great for what he's been through. The nurse gave him a dose of Valium last night and he stayed up talking to me for another hour. Haha We'll have to take some of that home. ;)
It's raining, it's pouring, The Mery Family isn't snoring, unfortunately...
Last night Nicole (mother) spent the night in U of U hostpital due to dehydration from throwing up all night. Rick's grandpa almost had a heart attack and Jasmine (Karsen's eldest sister) has strep throat. All this on top of Karsen's leg tradegy is making times extremely tough for the Mery family. Please continue to pray and fast for them! "When it rains it pours" is an understatement right now for this family. No sleep is happening currently for the Mery's. :( Thanks again for your support!
Saturday, September 26, 2009
What's happening...
Not sure you all want the play by play but this is my new journal for this adventure if you want to call it that.
After his first surgery where they cu
t off his bone and cleaned the area as best they could they wrapped it up nice and tight till his follow up surgery on saturday. He struggled waking up. He finally regained full consciousness around 2 am. I of course was awake. I couldn't even close my eyes for two seconds without seeing it all over again. We had a little chat and he said his toes hurt and I told him he didn't have any toes that he didn't have a foot. I showed him his leg. He said I want them back and I told him soon he could pick out a new one. He wanted to pick one out right now. I told him we would soon. I asked him if he knew what happened and he said yeah "you crushed me". Yes my heart broke when I heard that. I told him how sorry I was and asked if he would forgive me and he nodded his head. I then told him I loved him and he said I love you too mommy. It was a bitter sweet moment.Shortly after that he wanted me to hold him and the nurses let me and that was the first time my heart and mind relaxed enough for me to sleep for about an hour.
Friday was a good day for the most part. Karsen had a rough morning because he refused to pee in the pull up he's a big boy (finally) and was freaking out. When he finally relieved himself he was all better. We had many visitors honestly too many to remember. He did tell everyone that Mommy's lawnmower did it. But he didn't seem upset when he said it. He enjoyed going on a walk in the wagon and playing on the third floor. Friday night we prepared for the next surgery.
The surgery Saturday morning was the one that would determine where exactly his leg would be amputated. Whether it would stay below the knee or if they would have to cut it up to the knee. We prayed hard for it to stay below because it will be easier on him and less stress on his body and energy. They took him in at 7:30 and came back to tell us at 9:10 that everything went great. His leg stayed the length it is and that they were able to stretch the muscle around his bone as well as the salvagable tissue. His calf muscle was still alive and doing good. They put a wound vac on it and that helps prepare the skin for a skin graft. He will have to have the wound thing changed on monday and wednesday and will then go in Friday for his skin graft. They plan to take some skin from his thigh to put around the back part of his leg to cover the calf muscle.
He has been absolutely amazing. His strength is astounding. He helps the nurses with everything and thanks them everytime they take a bandaid off or something that is bothering him. He even thanked the nurse when they took out his catheder. *or however you spell it.
He has managed to sit up and move around. He loves sitting on dad or my lap and loves all of his new toys.
I can tell all you parents out there that this experience is surreal. It has been the hardest thing I have ever ever imagined possible. I am grateful this little man is in my life he is my rock and literally completes our family. I don't know what we would do without him. I can't wait to see him progress and help others see that anything is possible. He is my inspiration to be a better stronger person.
I do have some strong emotions and feelings that I need to deal with but I know with time my Heavenly Father will help me heal as well. I thank Him everyday for my amazing family, friends and even strangers that care. I hate to even be asking for money at all it breaks my heart to think we even have too. I can't express my deepest gratitude for those that have donated there prayers, good vibes, thoughts, time, energy, love and money. Thank you for your continued love and support.
P.S. I am not a huge blogger so if you have questions please don't hesitate to ask. I am trying to curb everyone's curiosity because I know I would be curious too.
Much Love and Belief...
Trying to be positive......
Rick and Karsen playing with a Transformer Mr. Potato head. Rick has told the other kids he is going to have a transformer foot. The best part is we bought his Optimus Prime costume on his birthday when we bought his bike.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Karsen Mery Trust Fund...
On September 24th, just 2 days after his 3rd birthday, Karsen Mery had a very tragic accident with a lawn mower. This sweet toddler's leg was cut off to mid-calf. He's being really strong, and is stable and going to live. With many more surgeries to go, this family will face many outrageous hospital bills. The parents are self-employed, so this accident will strongly impact their ability to bring in income while getting care for their son. For these reasons, a trust fund has been set up to help the Mery family provide Karsen the best possible care. If able, donations can be made in his behalf into the Karsen Mery trust fund at Mountain America Credit Union or donate directly via a link on this site. Continue to check back for updates. Please keep Karsen and the Mery family in your thoughts and prayers. Miracles happen! If you'd like to read more details of the incident, his mother was brave enough to post them below. We know it's very hard for her to have to relive the incident in our behalf, but so many friends and family are curious. We felt it best that she posted it once, so she didn't have to retell it over and over. Please pray for Karsen, his family and Nicole (his loving mother)! They all have healing to do!
The unfortunate truth...
I am Karsen's mom and want to let you all know how this unfortunate event happened.
My husband Rick and I were outside working in the yard and Karsen was out front riding his new bike. He had his helmet on but no shoes (not sure why he had no shoes). We have a ride on lawn mower and I jumped on it and started mowing following Rick with the trimmer. Mind you I was grumpy and in a lot of pain and wanted to just get it done. Rick was out front and I was out back. Karsen walked towards me from the front and I thought to myself 'pick him up he's the only one home and he'd love to ride with you.' But my bad attitude and selfishness got the best of me and I told him to go play so I could just get it done. **Note to all you mothers follow your instincts and the promptings you receive. I then made a circle and was up along the fence. Our mower has had some problems so I was fidgeting with it along the fence trying to adjust the chute that the lawn goes up. I was in reverse and stopped for a second and then kept going. (This is where if you don't want the details you need to stop reading.)
I backed up and thought that the mower was grinding on the chute. Then something flew out of the mower and I stopped immediately. I jumped off of the mower and began screaming. My beautiful baby looked at me with a horror in his eyes I will never forget. I looked through the open gate and screamed for Rick and then pulled Karsen out from under the backside of the mower. All I saw was this bone sticking out and skin dangling. Thanks to Heavenly Father I had strength within me I never ever knew I had. I ran out to the car screaming with my cell phone in hand unable to make a call. All I could think was 'hold him tight so he doesn't lose more blood.' I jumped in my little Mary Kay car and Rick ran to grab the keys (which he couldn't find and explains the new hole he punched into the wall). We drove like bats out of hell literally to Jordan Valley hospital. I held his as tight as I could. All Karsen kept asking for was a bandaid. I informed him he needed a heck of a lot more then a bandaid. We ran him inside to find no one at the desk. I screamed for help and the janitor pointed us in the right direction. The whole place seemed to be shaking. I continued to hold his head as they tried cleaning out his leg. It was severed from mid-calf down and unsalvageable. As a mother I tried to keep it all together but the horror had the best of me. He was doing well for what it was. He was just crying till they sedated him to help him relax. They then life flighted him to Primary's where we met him. At the time we were at the hospital they sent Rick back to the house to salvage whatever parts he could. Unfortunately, the lawn mower chopped his foot in half and tore up everything. He brought back everything he could find.
I was grateful Rick was able to make the phone calls he did because I was completely beside myself. Heavenly Father made him the strongest man I know. His mom Debbi made it to Primary's as Karsen landed so she was here when we couldn't be and to that I am grateful.
The drive seemed to take forever but it gave me a chance to breakdown so I could be strong again when I saw my baby boy. My feelings and thoughts are indescribable and a whole other post.
They cleaned him up the best they could and are taking good care of him. This little man is the strongest little guy I know. He must get it from his dad. His vitals and blood pressure and everything stayed stable the whole time.
He went in for surgery around 2 while we waited. I can't tell you how much having family and dear friends with me helped has helped. I'm trying my hardest not to beat myself up. But I'm his mom and I did it so I do. Time will tell when I can forgive myself.
I only tell you all of this because so many are wondering. I don't want to relive the story over and over and only Rick has heard the entire thing in gory detail. (I give myself no excuses for what happened. Bad mood or not I should've listened. I have feared something like this would happen ever since we got that lawn mower two years ago. It is now gone . I asked for it to be removed from my home. I don't ever want to see it again. Whoever has it may try to sell it to help with the costs of this whole incident. Thank you!)
Please keep praying for him and I will update you on each detail of my baby Karsen's amazing recovery.
My husband Rick and I were outside working in the yard and Karsen was out front riding his new bike. He had his helmet on but no shoes (not sure why he had no shoes). We have a ride on lawn mower and I jumped on it and started mowing following Rick with the trimmer. Mind you I was grumpy and in a lot of pain and wanted to just get it done. Rick was out front and I was out back. Karsen walked towards me from the front and I thought to myself 'pick him up he's the only one home and he'd love to ride with you.' But my bad attitude and selfishness got the best of me and I told him to go play so I could just get it done. **Note to all you mothers follow your instincts and the promptings you receive. I then made a circle and was up along the fence. Our mower has had some problems so I was fidgeting with it along the fence trying to adjust the chute that the lawn goes up. I was in reverse and stopped for a second and then kept going. (This is where if you don't want the details you need to stop reading.)
I backed up and thought that the mower was grinding on the chute. Then something flew out of the mower and I stopped immediately. I jumped off of the mower and began screaming. My beautiful baby looked at me with a horror in his eyes I will never forget. I looked through the open gate and screamed for Rick and then pulled Karsen out from under the backside of the mower. All I saw was this bone sticking out and skin dangling. Thanks to Heavenly Father I had strength within me I never ever knew I had. I ran out to the car screaming with my cell phone in hand unable to make a call. All I could think was 'hold him tight so he doesn't lose more blood.' I jumped in my little Mary Kay car and Rick ran to grab the keys (which he couldn't find and explains the new hole he punched into the wall). We drove like bats out of hell literally to Jordan Valley hospital. I held his as tight as I could. All Karsen kept asking for was a bandaid. I informed him he needed a heck of a lot more then a bandaid. We ran him inside to find no one at the desk. I screamed for help and the janitor pointed us in the right direction. The whole place seemed to be shaking. I continued to hold his head as they tried cleaning out his leg. It was severed from mid-calf down and unsalvageable. As a mother I tried to keep it all together but the horror had the best of me. He was doing well for what it was. He was just crying till they sedated him to help him relax. They then life flighted him to Primary's where we met him. At the time we were at the hospital they sent Rick back to the house to salvage whatever parts he could. Unfortunately, the lawn mower chopped his foot in half and tore up everything. He brought back everything he could find.
I was grateful Rick was able to make the phone calls he did because I was completely beside myself. Heavenly Father made him the strongest man I know. His mom Debbi made it to Primary's as Karsen landed so she was here when we couldn't be and to that I am grateful.
The drive seemed to take forever but it gave me a chance to breakdown so I could be strong again when I saw my baby boy. My feelings and thoughts are indescribable and a whole other post.
They cleaned him up the best they could and are taking good care of him. This little man is the strongest little guy I know. He must get it from his dad. His vitals and blood pressure and everything stayed stable the whole time.
He went in for surgery around 2 while we waited. I can't tell you how much having family and dear friends with me helped has helped. I'm trying my hardest not to beat myself up. But I'm his mom and I did it so I do. Time will tell when I can forgive myself.
I only tell you all of this because so many are wondering. I don't want to relive the story over and over and only Rick has heard the entire thing in gory detail. (I give myself no excuses for what happened. Bad mood or not I should've listened. I have feared something like this would happen ever since we got that lawn mower two years ago. It is now gone . I asked for it to be removed from my home. I don't ever want to see it again. Whoever has it may try to sell it to help with the costs of this whole incident. Thank you!)
Please keep praying for him and I will update you on each detail of my baby Karsen's amazing recovery.
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