Saturday, September 26, 2009
Not sure you all want the play by play but this is my new journal for this adventure if you want to call it that.
After his first surgery where they cut off his bone and cleaned the area as best they could they wrapped it up nice and tight till his follow up surgery on saturday. He struggled waking up. He finally regained full consciousness around 2 am. I of course was awake. I couldn't even close my eyes for two seconds without seeing it all over again. We had a little chat and he said his toes hurt and I told him he didn't have any toes that he didn't have a foot. I showed him his leg. He said I want them back and I told him soon he could pick out a new one. He wanted to pick one out right now. I told him we would soon. I asked him if he knew what happened and he said yeah "you crushed me". Yes my heart broke when I heard that. I told him how sorry I was and asked if he would forgive me and he nodded his head. I then told him I loved him and he said I love you too mommy. It was a bitter sweet moment.
Shortly after that he wanted me to hold him and the nurses let me and that was the first time my heart and mind relaxed enough for me to sleep for about an hour.
Friday was a good day for the most part. Karsen had a rough morning because he refused to pee in the pull up he's a big boy (finally) and was freaking out. When he finally relieved himself he was all better. We had many visitors honestly too many to remember. He did tell everyone that Mommy's lawnmower did it. But he didn't seem upset when he said it. He enjoyed going on a walk in the wagon and playing on the third floor. Friday night we prepared for the next surgery.
The surgery Saturday morning was the one that would determine where exactly his leg would be amputated. Whether it would stay below the knee or if they would have to cut it up to the knee. We prayed hard for it to stay below because it will be easier on him and less stress on his body and energy. They took him in at 7:30 and came back to tell us at 9:10 that everything went great. His leg stayed the length it is and that they were able to stretch the muscle around his bone as well as the salvagable tissue. His calf muscle was still alive and doing good. They put a wound vac on it and that helps prepare the skin for a skin graft. He will have to have the wound thing changed on monday and wednesday and will then go in Friday for his skin graft. They plan to take some skin from his thigh to put around the back part of his leg to cover the calf muscle.
He has been absolutely amazing. His strength is astounding. He helps the nurses with everything and thanks them everytime they take a bandaid off or something that is bothering him. He even thanked the nurse when they took out his catheder. *or however you spell it.
He has managed to sit up and move around. He loves sitting on dad or my lap and loves all of his new toys.
I can tell all you parents out there that this experience is surreal. It has been the hardest thing I have ever ever imagined possible. I am grateful this little man is in my life he is my rock and literally completes our family. I don't know what we would do without him. I can't wait to see him progress and help others see that anything is possible. He is my inspiration to be a better stronger person.
I do have some strong emotions and feelings that I need to deal with but I know with time my Heavenly Father will help me heal as well. I thank Him everyday for my amazing family, friends and even strangers that care. I hate to even be asking for money at all it breaks my heart to think we even have too. I can't express my deepest gratitude for those that have donated there prayers, good vibes, thoughts, time, energy, love and money. Thank you for your continued love and support.
P.S. I am not a huge blogger so if you have questions please don't hesitate to ask. I am trying to curb everyone's curiosity because I know I would be curious too.
Much Love and Belief...