tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11357449510547708772024-03-13T13:37:21.345-07:00Karsen MeryUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger73125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1135744951054770877.post-48419291640183312752015-09-24T15:36:00.000-07:002015-09-24T15:36:10.105-07:00<div style="text-align: center;">
<img height="320" src="https://scontent-sjc2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xat1/v/t1.0-9/11265395_10153672099279846_7269265513035103612_n.jpg?oh=0ec963223c3954b23375b5845749b19c&oe=568EF03F" width="228" /></div>
<a href="https://scontent-sjc2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xap1/v/t1.0-9/12049253_10153670436634846_6200281911111952364_n.jpg?oh=0b6ae5f2a2685b9dbf4ebdc6b6cf4471&oe=56A78BF0" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a>WOW! It's obviously been a long time since I've updated this blog...but here
goes today is the 6th Anniversary of what I like to call our Adventure (thanks
Julianne for the example). September for me is like being on an emotional roller
coaster. I'm excited kids are back in school, dance has started and let's not
forget it's Football season! Weather is changing and life is beautiful...but
then there is that dark side...<br />
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It's an Anniversary of something well a
couple something's that have changed my family, my life and Me!!! With both happening in September in the back of
my mind I want to go postal and lock my kids in bubbles for fear of something
bad happening. I want to curl up in a ball in my bedroom and cry while wishing it was
me and not him. My hubby who is extremely supportive is usually 2-3 states away
working his butt off for us. </div>
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<a href="https://scontent-sjc2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfa1/v/t1.0-9/11406898_10153435147879846_7086276208770822764_n.jpg?oh=b2c1e47593cf279b5eae507e49d9f700&oe=56958246" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://scontent-sjc2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xal1/v/t1.0-9/11203113_10153319900884846_3880529042095261994_n.jpg?oh=264a563766cd92e105402ffe60ec05ff&oe=56980DAA" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://scontent-sjc2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xal1/v/t1.0-9/11203113_10153319900884846_3880529042095261994_n.jpg?oh=264a563766cd92e105402ffe60ec05ff&oe=56980DAA" width="320" /></a>Then the prerelease of the Shriners commercial
(that will soon air) is emailed to me that is exclusively about him and as I cry everytime I watch it I'm reminded that without the
Doctors & services at Shriners I really don't know how I'd have my crazy but beautiful
home. My time hop well that's a new addition to the roller coaster. I've gone
back and looked through this blog and my FB before to read and reminisce of
the trials we've overcome and the support of the community, Family,
Friends & Strangers...it's strangely therapeutic.<br />
<br />
Time hop however has
made this easier to hurt...<br />
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I've recently saw Karsen on his bike 6 years ago with his
cute smile & squishy cheeks with his helmet on. I love this picture so much
but painstakingly reminds me of the day I jumped off my lawn mower to see my
sweet baby screaming with that same helmet on that I soon found mangled from his
left calf down. Yes I've been to therapy to rid me of the horrific triggers and pain but ultimately the constant reminder will never go away...I mean I didn't just break his leg. AND yes it was ALL and Accident but the memory never fades.<br />
<a href="https://scontent-sjc2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xaf1/v/t34.0-12/12033385_10153676305419846_1202127379_n.jpg?oh=bd7787ec4bee0ec8776af76aac69988a&oe=56072D58" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://scontent-sjc2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xaf1/v/t34.0-12/12033385_10153676305419846_1202127379_n.jpg?oh=bd7787ec4bee0ec8776af76aac69988a&oe=56072D58" width="179" /></a> Then there are the pics of him in the
hospital Smiles in most of them.<br />
<a href="https://scontent-sjc2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xta1/v/t1.0-9/1914428_141003634845_1063584_n.jpg?oh=395be3efe50b6772b0ac18ee34eda42e&oe=569E7827" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://scontent-sjc2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xta1/v/t1.0-9/1914428_141003634845_1063584_n.jpg?oh=395be3efe50b6772b0ac18ee34eda42e&oe=569E7827" width="149" /></a><br />
Reminding me that through all the hell life can
hand you "I got this!" As reminded from Karsens first attempt to going up stairs
in his Scooby Cast. WE GOT THIS!!!<br />
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Memories of the Amazing but challenging trip to NY that was
a great experience to being reminded of the stupid park toy that busted Karsens
femur and the trip in an ambulance with nothing but my hands splinting it all
the way from Riverton to Primaries.<br />
<img height="150" src="https://scontent-sjc2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpf1/v/t1.0-9/58398_437605229845_396827_n.jpg?oh=0c49b3e038150c5147569ba0bd3d8c94&oe=565EC840" width="200" /><img height="150" src="https://scontent-sjc2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xaf1/v/t1.0-9/61600_437613449845_8307356_n.jpg?oh=3238e4b7caba8bc5607fafd142c474b1&oe=569A70C2" width="200" /><br />
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<a href="https://scontent-sjc2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xta1/v/t1.0-9/11209761_10153451413339846_1400253332618176115_n.jpg?oh=e930b821b2f8e93e6797ce4e7a1bb67e&oe=565FE1E3" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://scontent-sjc2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xta1/v/t1.0-9/11209761_10153451413339846_1400253332618176115_n.jpg?oh=e930b821b2f8e93e6797ce4e7a1bb67e&oe=565FE1E3" width="320" /></a>Fast forward to surgeries to help him grow.
And now 2 months fully recovered from yet another surgery that is intended to
help his growth to another new prosthetic.<a href="https://scontent-sjc2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xap1/v/t1.0-9/12049253_10153670436634846_6200281911111952364_n.jpg?oh=0b6ae5f2a2685b9dbf4ebdc6b6cf4471&oe=56A78BF0" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://scontent-sjc2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xap1/v/t1.0-9/12049253_10153670436634846_6200281911111952364_n.jpg?oh=0b6ae5f2a2685b9dbf4ebdc6b6cf4471&oe=56A78BF0" width="200" /></a><br />
I've completely lost count of how
many times he's been put under for some sort of procedure, how many changes in
treatment when things like skin grafts don't work well. I've lost count how many
times I've held back tears while he goes through another procedure or as he's relearned to walk and how many times I still
cry praying he will have a full abundant able bodied life. <br />
<br />
He's my Hero...I
always say...but from sun up till sun down he's Karsen. Every morning as he goes
to get out of his bunk bed he has to put on his liner and leg...I hear him get
down and stomp to get it all the way on. No complaints it's his life and he's
doing just fine!!! He loves to run, play, hang out with friends, fight with his
bro. He's played Baseball, made the swim team and competed in Dance for almost 4 years on Winning teams. We've met some Amazing people along the way too.<br />
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While this isn't the life we expected I'm grateful for
it. It has uniquely humbled us all. He amongst his siblings inspire me daily.
They truly are incredible!!!<br />
<img height="320" src="https://scontent-sjc2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpf1/v/t1.0-9/11760226_10153514047659846_1788925987530585940_n.jpg?oh=18066fbdc6a27041a478289673f2d2a9&oe=569F53A2" width="320" /><img height="320" src="https://scontent-sjc2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xtf1/v/t1.0-9/11891230_10153600889634846_1709540564994674679_n.jpg?oh=bd0829e08b0b72ec7f2038d1e7ee0bb8&oe=569952AC" width="320" /><br />
Being the Mom in the Mery house is one of the
Best "Jobs" I have and I'll never quit.<br />
Love the life you Live, Live the life
you Love!!!Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12257357815802905293noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1135744951054770877.post-44032376609053911292014-06-09T21:58:00.001-07:002014-06-09T22:08:06.340-07:00Proud Mama Moment (not that I'm never not proud)Remembering back almost 5 years ago sitting in the hospital watching my baby go through everything I remember telling Rick my cute little tough boy is never going to play sports. He had an athletic build and I could picture him playing football...Years later I had realized regardless maybe sports weren't his thing anyway. He loves to dance, he's way smart and wants to get into piano, music and science.<br />
Basketball season came around and Jaxon was ready to play...Karsen says ok fine I'll play. So we sign him up. Every time we would try to play with him he'd cry and wouldn't...WHY? Cause he couldn't dribble. He was intimidated by his brother who Loved to play. But he went anyway. By the end of the season he understood the game and now dribbles a ball any chance he can get. He pushed himself even though his leg was starting to loosen up and hurt. After the season was over it was time to sign up for Baseball...Jaxon signed up and Karsen said no way. I kept talking to him because I just wanted him to at least try. If he hated it I'd never make him play again. It's Peewee 7's. With Jaxon playing I decided to take on a position on the board as well lack of a better term Mother of all Team Parents. Talking with members of the board I decided to persuade him. We got to the last and final day to get him in and I txt Karsen on his iPod and he says ok I'll play. WAHOOO! I sign him up DONE!<br />
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Well not really...with him signed up we get him a bag, a glove and what not...He was all set!<br />
Kinda, He then lacked any form of confidence. We finally get him outside to practice and BAM!!! Jaxon throws a ball to him and WHACK right in the head. That was the end of practicing with Jaxon or anyone for that matter. Pep talk after pep talk I tried to get him to practice with me. Promising to throw soft. Use the softer baseballs we had with the Pitching machine I borrowed. It took bribery to get him to practice with us. Jaxon on the other hand practices daily and it shows. He'd cry about not being able to play and not being good enough. It was heartbreaking. So I take Karsen to practice with his Coach who happens to be a newer neighbor of ours and gladly takes on my little boy with a prosthetic. I NEVER want to down play my son or make him feel like he can't be as good as anyone else so all I said was this is his first year and he's way nervous. Well low and behold he'd do anything Coach Nick told him to do. I noticed him set aside some of his fears and LISTEN! Yep LISTEN! The first game he went out there nervous but tried. In Peewee 7 part of the game is machine pitch and the rest is Kid pitch. He would swing the bat and miss. He did get on base and score a few times through some of what we love about PW 7 kid pitch. By the end of the season he walked out there confidently. And did what his Coaches taught him.<br />
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During the season we got him a new better fitting leg and he walked and ran better with it. His leg from his last surgery has healed well and he keeps growing like a weed. I spoke a little with his coach about how he needs to pivot differently since his left leg faces the pitcher. Funny thing is he got hit twice...in the leg...the prosthetic one. First time he looked at me unsure what to do. I said even if you can't feel it take your base you still got hit.<br />
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The last few games I'd stand behind him recording and he like any cute kid with a mom coaching him from behind the fence turned around and Shushed me...yep fingers to his lips shushed me...We all had a good laugh and I realized his Coaches had it under control. He was so eager by the last game to get a hit. Unfortunately he didn't but his swing was so much better. There are things we can adjust that will make him even greater as he grows and he's willing to try.<br />
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From Season Opener to his last game he has changed so much. Built so much confidence. And well now he's talking Flag Football...Who knew my baby who I worried would never be the athlete I thought he would just might. Never doubt a kid with a heart as big as his...I'm thankful every day for the lessons he teaches me daily. Not sure how I got so lucky to have such a little Rockstar in my life...but I'm forever grateful!!!<br />
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Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12257357815802905293noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1135744951054770877.post-82092677945995181882014-03-17T23:57:00.000-07:002014-03-18T00:25:59.183-07:00Feeling Oddly Emotional but More So Grateful...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
I haven't had a ton to blog about but this is something Fun so I had to share. A few weeks ago I was called from our Dr at Shriners and he asked if we'd be interested in working with a group of Seniors in the Research & Development department at the U on their Senior Project. They were working with Ottobock to develop a new foot for kids with prosthetic legs. It is meant to feel more real and comfortable as well as be adjustable in length. Pretty cool concept. </div>
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It's exciting to be able to assist in the research. Learning things that had we not ever had the accident we would be clueless about. All that goes into the engineering and developing the things that help Amputees function. We aren't finished yet but it's pretty cool to be a part of it. </div>
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So I start to wonder...HOW on earth is this in any way some emotional experience... 4-1/2 years ago I laid in a hospital bed with a barely 3 year old boy while holding him I panicked. What if people don't accept him? What if kids at school are mean? What if he hates me or resents me for the rest of his life? What if he'll never find someone to love him? What if people are repulsed by his minor imperfection? SOOOO Many questions, concerns, worries, etc. As we toured the building last week and I say the process/development of so many things we are now familiar with I realized had this never happened we'd never ever know anything about anything when it comes to Prosthetics and Orthotics. Then I saw the wall...15,000 individual molds for 15,000 people that need custom made liners that are only shelved for 2 YEARS...WOW...I was blown away. I thought of each mold as people who struggle with something most people will NEVER comprehend. I know I personally take advantage of 2 functional legs that maybe at times can be sore but nonetheless I still have them.</div>
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I watch my boy who's now 7 run, play, skip, jump, hop, throw attitude, act like a little boy and try almost daily to drive a mama crazy but yet he blows my mind. He's got this way about him that ALMOST makes me bend everytime. Couldn't imagine life without him and his brother and sisters.</div>
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As we drove away after a 2 hour appointment he was so Excited...Not only getting out of school early but he was a part of research that may or may not help the future of children's prosthesis. And all I could do was feel grateful he's alive, ambitious, grateful, full of life and ready to conquer the world and extremely happy. And even though September 24th 2009 was one of the worst days of my life...it has become such an extraordinary opportunity. And I hope for many more to come...Gotta make due with whatever curve balls are thrown at you...</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1kTSycGhT0w/UyftFepzxWI/AAAAAAAAFfo/T2hlC-iiPbw/s1600/wall+of+molds.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1kTSycGhT0w/UyftFepzxWI/AAAAAAAAFfo/T2hlC-iiPbw/s1600/wall+of+molds.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">15,000 custom molds of different peoples<br />
amputated legs.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BKHLnKxFck0/UyereIQQdDI/AAAAAAAAFfY/m3SLiD6thAs/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BKHLnKxFck0/UyereIQQdDI/AAAAAAAAFfY/m3SLiD6thAs/s1600/photo.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is what it looks like without the groovy fake foot.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-fcF26_lwp5U/UyerTvPbLwI/AAAAAAAAFfA/RW5bICqt4FM/s1600/photo+1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-fcF26_lwp5U/UyerTvPbLwI/AAAAAAAAFfA/RW5bICqt4FM/s1600/photo+1.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I think he walked a mile with 4 different models</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Racing Mike from Ottobock</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mike trying the Stahl Karsen just showed him.<br />
I caught him too late.</td></tr>
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<br />Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12257357815802905293noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1135744951054770877.post-48359828841578330892013-09-24T12:45:00.000-07:002013-09-24T13:04:25.132-07:00Can't believe how fast time flies...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-FjtYI3Zwv2E/UkHqKu0B6cI/AAAAAAAAEzE/rqx3OTUZ1L4/s1600/Karsen.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-FjtYI3Zwv2E/UkHqKu0B6cI/AAAAAAAAEzE/rqx3OTUZ1L4/s320/Karsen.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Can you believe it's been 4 YEARS? 4 Years since our lives were changed traumatically. This time of year I get excited for the change in weather and hoodie season and so much more but there is always an ache in my heart. Last week I started feeling emotional (I was mowing the lawn surprise surprise) and was thinking what is wrong with ME? Then it dawned on me...It's September...memories creep in and gratitude all at the same time.<br />
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It's crazy to reflect on where we were and where we are now. WOW!!! Our lives are forever changed and daily we are reminded of it. I watch my now 7 year old. Run, Play, Develop and Be HIMSELF. Which I truly admire. He is who he is. He is a typical 7 year old that most don't know deals with things daily others don't even think even myself. As I observe him going into a new class with new friends wondering WHAT HAPPENED? As well as learning to adjust his prosthetic throughout the day because it's not fitting right. But yet he doesn't complain...well at least not about that. He's 7 he complains about brothers and sisters and fairness and ALL the things a 7 year old should. </div>
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Today as I reflect and even reread what happened (<a href="http://karsenmery.blogspot.com/2009/09/unfortunate-truth.html">http://karsenmery.blogspot.com/2009/09/unfortunate-truth.html</a>) while not wanting to trigger all the emotions I want to show gratitude. Gratitude for the fact that he has lived through it all. He's shown me strength, perseverance, love, hope and fearlessness. It has been inbedded in me as well. For so long I'd look down at my sweet boy and hate that FOREVER I will be reminded of that day as well as he is but now I look at him and think WOW if only he knew how much he means to me. How much he has taught me. How much strength he gives me. He will forever be my hero. I love him, his Dad and his siblings more then anything in this world. My hubby and I have some pretty great kids. This quote was posted and I found it PERFECT for my reflections on life today. Thank you again to all those that have been on this crazy journey. My Love and Admiration for you all is immeasurable.</div>
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Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12257357815802905293noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1135744951054770877.post-1112121291125299402013-07-11T16:59:00.000-07:002013-07-11T16:59:56.456-07:00Screw Removal :) Surgery #??? I think we've all lost count <div style="text-align: center;">
After just a short 7 months Karsen's bone bridge we made is all healed and today we removed his screw. It was helping hold a piece of his fibula in between the tibia and fibula to create a stable bone bridge. The hope in doing this is so as he grows he won't grow bone spurs and his fibula won't move around. Here is a picture of the before and after.</div>
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Here he is holding his screw. He said it looks like one from Dad's work!<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0h8X2c5svw0/Ud9EcXT1JyI/AAAAAAAAExI/_-lttrmdHZM/s1600/IMG_5435%5B1%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0h8X2c5svw0/Ud9EcXT1JyI/AAAAAAAAExI/_-lttrmdHZM/s320/IMG_5435%5B1%5D.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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I was kinda surprised how big it was.</div>
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Here is the infamous Dr. Marci he lit up the minute he saw her. She puts him at ease when he is nervous and they adore each other. So glad we have her!!!</div>
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Had to take this pic. He didn't want to wake up he was in such a deep amazing sleep I was extremely jealous.</div>
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Every surgery always stirs up emotions for me and him but we push through. He should be back walking in a few days. He's already hoping & crawling everywhere. Perhaps I should get his walker out from under his bed. </div>
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This kid never ceases to amaze me. While he can be a typical 6 year old and pain in my butt he is still my hero. I'm grateful for all my kids that give me strength and purpose. Thank you to all those that have followed his story and have been there for our family. It means more then anyone will ever know. Helps keep the bad thoughts and emotions from sinking in too deep. I'm sure both he and I wish we never had to deal with any of this but we have learned so much and have grown so much. Again thank you all for your love, prayers and support.</div>
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<br />Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12257357815802905293noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1135744951054770877.post-58177072946877531492012-12-11T11:19:00.000-08:002012-12-11T11:19:24.357-08:00Anticipated surgery...wasn't expecting it so soon :(<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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It's hard to believe my baby has spent more time without his leg then he has with his real one. It's been a crazy 3 years and we are now headed back for surgery. You can see in the picture how the ends of his Tibia and Fibula are both sharp and pointy. This was something we anticipated and will anticipate to happen again till he stops growing. Didn't think it would be this soon. We have chosen to do the surgery now so he can recover while the weather isn't as enticing to play in and he won't miss much school being off track. When we went to the Dr's he was complaining of it hurting on the bottom as well as on the sides. What most people don't know is with a prosthetic leg the weight isn't on the bottom of his stump its actually around the sides. So while we try to get a good snug fit that will hold him well and help him walk "normal" it is pushing his Fibula (the little one) into his Tibia which causes more discomfort. So we may be fusing the two bones together with a plate. Dr. Marci will decide that while she is in there.<br />
I just wanted to Thank all of those that continue to support us and love my son and our family so much. The prayers, well wishes and happy thoughts really do mean a lot. And to our families that are always supportive and encouraging him and constantly loving us in the good times and bad.<br />
I as a mom try to be as STRONG as humanly possible but I can't lie I hate that he will be off his leg again and have to have surgery. It stirs up so many emotions like anger, sadness, wish I would'ves and all that. But the strength I get from Karsen and our little family makes things easier to pull through. My husband for those of you that know him know he's very simple. He let's me cry through it with his arms around me and always says "Don't worry we got this he'll be ok and so will we. Nothing can stop him". So true!!! Thanks again for the love and support. I will keep ya posted on here and FB.<br />
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Much Love,<br />
NicoleNicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12257357815802905293noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1135744951054770877.post-72035114837351464542012-09-11T22:28:00.001-07:002012-09-11T22:28:23.988-07:00Reflections...3 years later<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Reflections...<br />
It's crazy that we are coming up on the 3 year anniversary of one of the most life altering experiences for me and my family. I hate to bring up memories...but in reality that is what September is for me. While I love the change in season, a chance to wear my hoodie's and sending the kids to school I still feel an anxiety for this month. Between the original accident and a year after him breaking his leg I am grateful that we are doing good since then.<br />
So many things have happened since I blogged last...<br />
**Karsen is now on leg 7 and will be fitted for a new leg next week. He's growing up so fast people think him and his older brother Jaxon are twins!<br />
**He finished up Private Kindergarten at Little Critters which he absolutely loved and was accepted into 1st grade by his amazing new teacher Mrs. Dangerfield.<br />
**We held a Zumbathon this year in honor of Shriner's Hospital and all the work they have done for us. Thanks to all that donated we raised over $1000 for them and can't wait to do it again and raise even more!!! In the world of prosthetics that helps but so much more is needed :(<br />
**Karsen also learned to finally ride his bike. He's still working on it but I'm grateful he is taking it easy.<br />
**He's been able to meet some incredible new friends that struggle with the same amputation but they are all amazing who they are and what they teach us.<br />
**Karsen has thankfully been very healthy and way happy. He's turning 6 on the 22nd and some days I feel like he's turning 10. He's so mature and smart...not sure where he gets that from but I'm proud of him.<br />
He continually gives me strength everyday as I watch him be him. He goes to school with confidence. I worried so much about him entering school and kids not being nice. He told his teacher and class on the first day that what made him unique was not that he had a prosthetic leg but that he helped me do the dishes.<br />
That kid makes me laugh everyday and when I look into his beautiful eyes I thank God I still have him...the memory of that nightmare will never fully go away but the joy of what it has done in our lives for the better makes it all so much better.<br />
September is definitely a remembering month and I look forward to many more that are full of positive happy memories.Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12257357815802905293noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1135744951054770877.post-41267582786654675742012-04-16T19:06:00.001-07:002012-06-14T14:07:56.390-07:00DANCE KARSEN DANCE ZUMBATHONJOIN US FOR A ZUMBATHON TO RAISE MONEY FOR UTAH SHRINERS HOSPITAL FOR CHILDREN.<br />
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FRIDAY JULY 27th 7-8:30PM AT SHRINERS HOSPITAL IN SALT LAKE CITY.<br />
$10 MINIMUM DONATION TO PARTICIPATE JUST CLICK ON THE DONATE BUTTON AND REGISTER NOW!!!<br />
Kids 14 & Under can participate for a $5 donation :)<br />
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WE WILL ALSO HAVE RAFFLES AT THE EVENT FOR SOME GREAT GOODIES!!!<br />
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This Zumbathon is to Give Back to Shriners Hospital for all the work they do for so many of our children especially Karsen.<br />
The Doctors and staff have done so much but definitely can use the donations.<br />
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Thanks in advance for dancing with us...<br />
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All my RUN KARSEN RUN FANS please consider switching it up a bit and dancing with us!! It will be like doing a 10Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12257357815802905293noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1135744951054770877.post-38996448778080734892012-04-16T19:06:00.000-07:002012-04-16T19:15:01.277-07:00DANCE KARSEN DANCE ZUMBATHONJOIN US FOR A ZUMBATHON TO RAISE MONEY FOR UTAH SHRINERS HOSPITAL FOR CHILDREN.<br />FRIDAY JUNE 1ST 7-8:30PM AT SHRINERS HOSPITAL IN SALT LAKE CITY.<br />$10 MINIMUM DONATION TO PARTICIPATE JUST CLICK ON THE DONATE BUTTON AND REGISTER NOW!!!<br />Kids 14 & Under can participate for a $5 donation :)<br /><br />WE WILL ALSO HAVE RAFFLES AT THE EVENT FOR SOME GREAT GOODIES!!!<br /><br />This Zumbathon is to Give Back to Shriners Hospital for all the work they do for so many of our children especially Karsen.<br />The Doctors and staff have done so much but definitely can use the donations.<br /><br />Thanks in advance for dancing with us...<br /><br />All my RUN KARSEN RUN FANS please consider switching it up a bit and dancing with us!! It will be like doing a 10Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12257357815802905293noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1135744951054770877.post-1985212730767283082012-04-16T18:32:00.000-07:002012-04-16T18:41:29.788-07:00Wow It's been a long time...It's been a while since I've updated Karsen's blog. So many things going on. Recently we went to Shriner's for a new leg. Karsen is growing rapidly which requires fittings every 7-9 months. Thank goodness his doctors up at Shriners hook us up with great designs and work so well with him.<br />I can't believe what a difference minor adjustments can make. I am posting a pic of all the many designs we've had and different "legs" he's had since that horrible day in September 2009. Karsen is a champ and acts as if nothing is different about him. He's such a smart little guy. We currently have him in Private Kindergarten (since his bday misses the deadline by 22 days) and we are very excited to have him move into 1st grade next year. He's also developed another kind of smart...a smart alec. He's a master at teasing and taunting everyone just to make ya made enough but then he laughs. He's quite a jokester. Just the other day he came in and told me he wished we had the old lawn mower. I of course asked why and his reply was "so we could cut off my other leg then I could walk anywhere and not get thorns in my foot." My 10 year old Jazmine and I looked at each other with a little shock in our faces and realized apparently he's not a fan of shoes. Crazy kid makes me laugh even with his insane sense of humor.Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12257357815802905293noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1135744951054770877.post-31676546450257486622011-10-26T19:43:00.000-07:002011-10-26T19:50:45.974-07:00Meet Benjamin!!!<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-XwVc5P7NUqA/TqjFZq46dxI/AAAAAAAAARY/mTPq6t0JiTw/s1600/296517_10150368577659846_665999845_7995828_1043979118_n.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-XwVc5P7NUqA/TqjFZq46dxI/AAAAAAAAARY/mTPq6t0JiTw/s320/296517_10150368577659846_665999845_7995828_1043979118_n.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5667997175846172434" /></a>Meet Ben he is our new Friend as well as his wonderful family!! Ben was in a lawn mower Accident just like Karsen. He had a through the knee Amputation which requires a more complicated prosthetic and since he is only 4 and small it complicates it even more. He has a prosthetic but has no way to bend which will make it uncomfortable to walk not to mention what it will do to his hips.<img src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-XWOyDSp4vNE/TqjG1rVmSmI/AAAAAAAAARk/xRo7J9zVWDY/s320/303705_10150430158270211_699005210_10781481_1689879496_n.jpg" style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 142px; height: 320px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5667998756514450018" /><div><div> HELP US RAISE MONEY FOR HIM TO GET A BETTER FITTING LEG!!!</div><div>You can Donate through Karsen's blog and all proceeds will go to their family to help them.</div><div>Help us pay it forward!! I know you all have a special place in your heart for our family help spread that love to the Steinfeldts!! </div><div><br /></div><div>More details from his accident are below...</div></div>Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12257357815802905293noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1135744951054770877.post-32360039378751675592011-10-26T18:50:00.000-07:002011-10-26T19:42:55.931-07:00Never Thought in a Million Years...Time to pay it forward!!!When Karsen's Accident happened we heard a statistic the there were 600 lawn mower accidents a year. Some similar to ours but some different. A little while back I received a call from Dr. Marci she called to ask a huge favor for Karsen and I to go to Primaries and meet a family that was now experiencing the same thing we were. My heart instantly broke and I agreed to go visit them that day. I tried hard to be strong and not cry and it didn't help that Rick wasn't home to go but the minute I talked to him I broke down and just cried. I would never wish this upon anyone and now here it is not far from us. The physical and mental heart ache is at times unbearable. <div>We went up and met with Ben who is only 4 and his parents Anthony and Eleisha...the similarity between our families and our experience was crazy. Anthony was on the lawn mower and Ben got knocked over due to some brake issues. His leg was severed as well but unfortunately due to lack of skin and from what Marci told me the issues we've had and many surgeries they decided to do a through the knee Amputation. Ben spent a couple days in the hospital and his recovery has gone well. He should have normal growth and they shouldn't have bone growth issues like we have but his prosthetic is going to be a lot more complicated and require more physical therapy learning to walk with it. Ben and his family are from Manti and came up for a fitting at Shriner's and after a long hard appointment they went home with no prosthetic and finding that he is too small for the knee part of the prosthetic. They just don't make them that small. He was refitted without the knee this past Monday but without the knee so he will have a stiff straight leg. Eleisha and Anthony are working with some specialists on making a knee part that will fit but as we know once you venture out of the limitations at Shriner's things have cost. Shriner's is incredible and we all love them but they are limited to what they can do. There is a fundraiser for Benjamin and we will be collecting through Karsen's website for their family to help with this cost as well as all the travel expense going back and forth from Manti. Please help our family raise some money for this family. We have been beyond blessed from all of you and your donations of time, love, help and money I'd love to show them the same support. Every little bit helps!!!</div>Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12257357815802905293noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1135744951054770877.post-11757860597191314812011-08-18T22:39:00.000-07:002011-08-18T23:17:01.677-07:00Leg #4 and Still Growing...<div><div><div>
<br /><div>
<br /><div><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 150px; height: 200px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5642438257409407586" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-cM2ySBPBuPI/Tk33sz_2OmI/AAAAAAAAARI/0Bm4rBnKTPk/s200/Kars%2BCars%2BLeg.jpg" border="0" />It's been forever since I have updated but we've been doing pretty good. Karsen is still the champ he always has been and with sisters and a brother like his he stays active and happy. He's healed really good from his Femur Break but now our only concern is his fibula & tibia. He has grown so much the tibia is now almost as long as his fibula (it was half the size) and it's growing in pretty sharp and pointy. We went and got refitted for another Prosthetic so we can prolong surgery...It's been a year praying it will be even longer. </div><div>Karsen's attitude has been incredible and of course nothing stops him from getting what he wants. We've hit a few emotional snags. Some of the <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-qhJUTw80Y6Q/Tk37KIlN5eI/AAAAAAAAARQ/4WdO1cWSRBw/s1600/Kars%2Bxray.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 150px; height: 200px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5642442059685946850" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-qhJUTw80Y6Q/Tk37KIlN5eI/AAAAAAAAARQ/4WdO1cWSRBw/s200/Kars%2Bxray.jpg" border="0" /></a>ones I feared...like "I wish I had my leg back" and the last one was "when I'm 10 will my leg have grown back". Unfortunately It's those moments that break my heart. Come to find out he was just being lazy and doesn't want to put his leg on. Nothing much more then that. </div><div>We've had a great year he's gone camping, swimming and 4 wheeling even went boating. Trying to keep him active and involved. We just recently went to Lagoon and after a couple hours of walking he was pretty worn out but had fun. He was on his old leg. This new one is awesome it has a Truper foot and helps keep his alignment straight. The Truper foot has little shocks in it to give it more of a real ankle feel. The minute he put it on it was a major difference to me how he walked. The hope is to keep him going running and riding his bike. Peter his Prothesis Dr up at Shriner's said he'd probably grow out of this leg in 6 or so months too. </div><div>The good side to his down time is he's retained a lot of knowledge and we are starting him early to Kindergarten (come to find out just like his Dr. Marcy). Excited to have him learn to read better and continue with his education. He wants to be a Dr. Like Marcy some day too!!</div><div>My goal and prayer is for this next September to be a great one and for Karsen to have health and strength and NO MORE ACCIDENTS!! We can't wait to celebrate his 5th birthday without a body cast!!</div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div></div></div></div></div>Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12257357815802905293noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1135744951054770877.post-45938175940916688742011-04-22T07:50:00.001-07:002011-04-22T08:56:46.288-07:00Feeling back to "normal"<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-i61XfmExrok/TbGZ_NbOdqI/AAAAAAAAAQQ/ok-DyYLa4sc/s1600/Kars%2BSpica.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-i61XfmExrok/TbGZ_NbOdqI/AAAAAAAAAQQ/ok-DyYLa4sc/s200/Kars%2BSpica.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5598425123012900514" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />I have been meaning to blog for a while but life has been crazy but great!!<br />The last time I blogged was when we were at a year <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Karsen</span> had broken his femur and we were feeling has though we were taking steps back instead of forward.<br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Karsen</span> really is a champ...he sat for 10 weeks in his <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">spica</span> cast having to go under to redo it and then when they took it off. He got it off right before Halloween and couldn't have been more excited.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-UmXdmyGJlKE/TbGXzfkXRII/AAAAAAAAAQA/-jxqeCvSH_A/s1600/Karsen%2Bscooby.jpg"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-UmXdmyGJlKE/TbGXzfkXRII/AAAAAAAAAQA/-jxqeCvSH_A/s200/Karsen%2Bscooby.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5598422722701378690" border="0" /></a><br />After that we were back to rehabilitation. He wasn't able to put his Prosthesis on for 2 more weeks and after that it was limited. Thank goodness the one we got from New York fit but only after a few adjustments and only for a short time. At that time I was discouraged having spent the time and money to go out there feeling as though it was a waste now that his leg had been through so much more. We ended up going to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Shriners</span> and got a new fitting where we got his <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Scooby</span> leg. Love working with Pete up there he has done amazing things for us.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-VWrDOY2E5xU/TbGZ1mZHlsI/AAAAAAAAAQI/oqraifrrfcQ/s1600/scooby.jpg"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-VWrDOY2E5xU/TbGZ1mZHlsI/AAAAAAAAAQI/oqraifrrfcQ/s200/scooby.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5598424957916255938" border="0" /></a><br />The good news is with him<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-b5jXazsnQOI/TbGal_IUOvI/AAAAAAAAAQY/YR_gXvyN0Xs/s1600/xray.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-b5jXazsnQOI/TbGal_IUOvI/AAAAAAAAAQY/YR_gXvyN0Xs/s200/xray.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5598425789190388466" border="0" /></a> having a amputated leg we can adjust his prosthesis to help his legs to be the same length. It's been quite the process but we have all grown so much.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />We also have done some great things since the last post. We did the 2<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">nd</span> annual Run <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Karsen</span> Run and thanks to some incredible friends for putting it together it wouldn't have happened. We wanted to do it as a pay it forward event and was able to give back to Shriner's. I am full of gratitude for everyone that attended and participated and especially helped put it together. As soon as <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Karsen</span> broke his leg I was at his beck and call 24/7 considering he couldn't even go to the bathroom on his own. Rick and I took turns carrying and were very grateful he could pee in a bottle. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">lol</span>. The event was amazing and we were able to donate to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">Shriners</span> and help cover the emergency costs of his new adventure.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dJFBdAhRPP8/TbGjvBSgXbI/AAAAAAAAAQw/eMnAVrZmbUA/s1600/run%2Bfriends.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 134px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dJFBdAhRPP8/TbGjvBSgXbI/AAAAAAAAAQw/eMnAVrZmbUA/s200/run%2Bfriends.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5598435839993470386" border="0" /></a><br />After that we just kept working on adjusting him to help make his leg fit more comfortably and so he can walk. It was a little frustrating for him to be limping all the time. He was doing so well <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-d1sDb75Mwgk/TbGe-Zk19RI/AAAAAAAAAQg/UQBbwmqhn-4/s1600/Kars%2Bhiking.jpg"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 134px; height: 200px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-d1sDb75Mwgk/TbGe-Zk19RI/AAAAAAAAAQg/UQBbwmqhn-4/s200/Kars%2Bhiking.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5598430606652732690" border="0" /></a>before you wouldn't have even known he had a prosthetic but now it was painful to walk.<br />One day we were walking into the store and he told me his leg was hurting but he'd be <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">ok</span> because he could do it! His determination and independence amazes me everyday!!<br />Since then we have been living life and doing great. He has been going to preschool and plays like everyone else. I only have mini heart attacks on occasion when he goes outside and ends up crying. It's usually because his older brother is picking on him. He is a typical 4 year old and on occasion is catching up on the tantrums he didn't get to throw while he was 3.<br />He has managed to walk, run, ride his bike, hike & even jump on a trampoline.<br />I am so proud of him and all my babies for the amazing children that they are. The encouragement the give each other and the raised level of compassion they have for everyone.<br />We are so blessed to have great family & friends. I'm so grateful to be on the mend and past the HELL we have been through. We still will have day to day struggles but they are nothing compared to what they used to be.Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12257357815802905293noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1135744951054770877.post-36152853665250708322010-09-24T08:10:00.000-07:002010-09-24T09:25:56.982-07:00One Year Later...So today has been on my mind a lot. It's not really an anniversary or a celebration but to realize it's been a year. A year from hell I might add. A year of pain, heartache, fear, trials, challenges as well as triumphs, successes and love. It's is crazy to reflect the changes from last year to this year. Some things are the same but others are so different. I can't believe the change physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually we have all gone through.<br />I don't necessarily like to recall the activities of that day and thanks to my Life Coach Nadeen Rawlings I am not physically reliving it every time I look at Karsen's leg. Through the worst reliving all I could think about was what if I would've gone further he wouldn't be here and then I'd really not know where I'd be right now. That painful thought doesn't come around as often. I do still wish it would've been the dog (not that I don't care for my dogs but if I had to chose well you get it right?)<br />When I recap and even reread through the blog I have concluded that Karsen has been put under for some sort of surgery now almost 20 times. He endured 10-12 of them in the hospital the 1st 2 weeks. He's kind of a pro now. He no longer freaks out and always wants a popsicle when he wakes up. One of the little things I love is that the nurses worry he won't wake up but the minute he hears my voice he does. He's also had to learn to walk 3 times and soon it will be 4 after his femur heals. I loved when he learned to walk as a baby but the real joy was seeing him walk to Rick last November and again in New York. The joy and emotions are overwhelming. To see him "normal" again. <br />I try my hardest to stay positive and not dwell on the negative selfish thoughts but the truth of the matter is they are there. I have learned again thanks to Nadeen that my coping method is something we develop as children and mine is to keep it all to myself put on a strong face and just keep moving. I realized that at some of the hardest times I couldn't handle being in the same room with Karsen for fear of losing it but I had to be within hearing distance if he needed me. I have cried many nights wishing my baby wasn't ruined. That he was whole again. I admit I became selfish focusing on taking care of his needs but also my own. Finding escapes that were unnecessary even if it was running to the store with no kids. Sometimes I get angry and wonder why the hell this had to happen. I do believe things happen for a reason and I've asked many times what am I supposed to learn from all of this and when I think I know we are hit with another "life lesson". <br />My heart aches when I see him struggle. We have let him figure things out and tried not to cater too much so that he will learn. He tries after cruising up and down the stairs to get me to carry him this one last time because he "can't put pressure on his leg" or so he says. It is hard to see him refuse to wear his leg and just want to sit there while everyone plays around him. I struggle a lot with the future, with rejection, ridicule and inability. Simple thoughts of going swimming in a public place and the gawking eyes. I have asked all the weird questions like what if he wants to play a sport and can't or what if the girls don't like him or are repulsed by him. It's such a stupid mind game I hate it. <br />The good news is is that each day he teaches and inspires me. Some days it is pure patience he teaches me (especially now that he is 100% dependent on me). One day in particular we were sitting in our large front room. I was reading something and Karsen and Jaxon were playing. Karsen had a little where's waldo timer from some fast food joint. Jaxon was running in circles and I challenged him to see how many times he could run through the kitchen, living room and back to where we were before the timer was up. Karsen said "yeah let's race". As I sat and watched I learned an incredible lesson. Karsen didn't have his leg on so he wanted to race on his knees not even crawling. I said ok "Ready, Set, GO!" they both took off and as they reached the doorway to the kitchen (maybe 4 ft from where they started) Karsen stopped as Jaxon hurried around and kept going. Karsen sat there with a scowl on his face. That nurturing part of me as a mother wanted to pick him up and tell him it was ok and give him loves while he was upset but the other part of me decided to stop and observe. As I sat there I watched that scowl and sad look of disappointment do something I've never seen anyone do. Most humans would instantly cry or whine that they aren't good enough or that they "suck". Well Karsen has every right to be angry and frustrated but within 60 seconds he did the exact opposite. He sat there for a few and then looked over at me and saw the timer on the floor and said "Jaxon do it again and I will time you" He crawled over picked up the timer and with the best attitude said "ok ready, set, go". WOW is all I could think. I have never seen a 3 year old do something like that. To change his attitude and find a way to enjoy the fun. It seriously made me wish I was more capable of doing that.<br />The other day Rick was talking to Karsen and the topic of the accident came up. If you ask Karsen what happened he will still tell you that mommy ran him over with the lawn mower (so much for him forgetting). Rick asked him what he was doing Karsen replied I was following mommy, Rick then asked why (when he knew he wasn't supposed to) he replied I don't know. Rick said why didn't you get out of there Karsen then told him I fell over and then mommy backed up. This thought is heart wrenching to me. To think of how helpless he felt and the fear as well as the pain. It's thoughts and moments like this that tear me down. That hurt the most to think about and again make me question WHY?? <br />When Karsen received his Spica Cast he really didn't want anyone to write on it but one day I thought I'm going to write on the bar. I know we will at least keep that part so I wrote on it "Mommy Loves You" so every time he looks down he will be reminded. A couple days later we were going through each letter and he knows what it says and he told me I want you to put "I love mommy" after it. Being the emotional freak I have been lately just held him so grateful that he does. It sounds so silly but every time he says it my heartache goes away more and more. Every time any of my kids wrap their arms around me and tell me they love me it fills me up more then anything.<br />Karsen has already touched so many lives in the person that he is and the way he has fought through this. I know that Heavenly Father gave him to us for many reasons. I know that Karsen lived to make a difference. His spirit is that of an incredible one. He keeps our family focused and find gratitude in the little things. I can't tell you how grateful I am that he as a whole person has not been altered. He is still the fun, happy, joking kid he was before he just has a limb missing. Jazmine, Kyliane and Jaxon never cease to amaze me as well. They don't treat him as if he's an alien and they are so thoughtful. After Karsen had his cast put on Jaxon spent the whole morning sitting next to him watching movies, getting toys and even making him giggle.<br />The have all excelled in school being top readers, great at math and leaders in their classrooms. Jaxon is amazing at Karate. We have tried to keep their lives steady and have things for them since a lot of time and energy goes into Karsen's care.<br />It is hard to be down and boy have we been down but there are so many things that are positive to focus on. I can't say that I am the best at this but some days I tell myself we are better then this we can overcome this. This has been the hardest year for my life, my existence, our marriage, our finances, everything. But our conclusion is simple...At least we still have each other. We would give up all of our possessions if that meant keeping our family. I am so grateful that Rick still loves me. I know sounds weird but I've heard comments of husbands not sure they could forgive their wife or just simply they'd be so angry. He is my rock that holds me together when I am falling apart. Even though sometimes I hate when I am down and he tells me "it's all good we are gonna get through this" It makes me want to punch him in the face. But I realize what we have made it through this year and to be where we are now as a couple and a family I am positive things will work out fantastic!! (not sure it could get worse) We are fighters!! We are ROCKSTARS!! lol<br /><br />Thanks again to EVERYONE that has helped us this last year. Through love, prayers, thoughts, friendships, donations, food, hugs, notes and positive vibes. It is you that has helped us to stay strong as well. It takes a village to raise a child so thank you all for helping me raise all 4 of mine to be the best most beautiful children they can be. I wish we knew how to show our gratitude more the everyone. Please know that we love you all and have the utmost respect for your love for us.Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12257357815802905293noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1135744951054770877.post-42783095939039208142010-09-17T17:49:00.000-07:002010-09-17T19:39:32.721-07:00Karsen Happens!!As we come up to Karsen's 4th birthday and 1 year from this horrific accident. We have planned birthday parties and events to celebrate the progress that Karsen has made. Unfortunately we have another 6 week set back.<br />I took Karsen with some friends to the park and he was playing on a seat that spins.<br /><a href="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs655.snc4/61545_437761089845_665999845_4752888_5746145_n.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 175px; height: 271px;" src="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs655.snc4/61545_437761089845_665999845_4752888_5746145_n.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>He sat down on it on our way out. I went to grab my water bottle across the way and heard a child scream "someone stop me, stop me, stop me!!" realizing it was Karsen I ran over as fast as I could to stop him. I was about 5 ft away when he pushed himself off. (Sure wish the two moms standing near him would've helped me out). After getting to him and seeing his leg in a weird position I thought it was just his prosthesis well I was wrong. The lady (standing near him) covered her mouth saying oh my gosh his leg. I assured her it was probably his prosthetic. I rushed over to my friends van taking off his leg while running and him screaming...that heartbreaking cry I heard almost a year ago. I knew something was so wrong. I got his leg off and then laid him down near the car to pull his pants off to get his liner off. When I pulled his pants off I saw his thigh swollen and thought to myself "Please no don't be broken". Unfortunately it was. We put him in the car and rushed to Riverton IHC where they took xray's and said his left Femur was broken. They then transported us via Ambulance to Primaries. Once we arrived there I told them to call Marci his Othopedic Surgeon to at least let her know. She called me while I was there and told me if I could get to Shriner's she could get me in right away if we wait at Primaries it would be 10pm. So my Brother's (who were there waiting for us when we arrived at Primaries LOVE THEM) found us a ride to Shriners. We finally got to Marci. Karsen was comfortable after 4 mg of Morphine and a splint. He wanted to go home and didn't like the description of the Spica Cast he overheard us discussing. I was and still am heartbroken. Our life yet again is altered. We were finally using his leg for everything. He had started preschool and now we are back to square one only to look forward to him learning to walk again.<br /><br /><a href="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs614.snc4/59389_1271927256969_1793536520_522417_7938295_n.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 188px; height: 314px;" src="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs614.snc4/59389_1271927256969_1793536520_522417_7938295_n.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>His cast starts at his chest and goes to his calf on his right side and covers his whole amputated leg. He has an opening to go to the restroom (we've been using a bottle lol). This was the first time any of the doctors working on him had ever done a spica cast on an amputated leg. We now have to worry about his leg shrinking too much and growing improperly. We can make up for it if it does a little with a prosthesis but won't know till we get there.<br />This poor guy has been through hell. It took him about 24 hours to realize he is completely immobilized and has to depend on Rick and I fully for anything. It's going to be a rough 6 weeks for him but I am grateful for my amazing kids that are willing to sit and play with him. Nothing warms my broken heart then the sound of his laughter with his syblings & visitors.<br /><br />Thank you Brandon & Tracy for being there for me at the hospital I can't tell you how good it felt to have warm embracing arms to hug. Thanks to Kara, Grandma Debbi and Tali for visiting and helping us (me) with so much. Warm reassuring hugs mean the world even if its partnered with a good cry. Thank you to everyone that has called, email and been there for us even friends of friends and family and strangers. Thank you all!!Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12257357815802905293noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1135744951054770877.post-71360900262978071042010-09-17T15:41:00.000-07:002010-09-17T17:21:05.428-07:00NEW YORK!!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/TJP5nJCFucI/AAAAAAAAAO0/gna1fSr54qs/s1600/CIMG0213+%283%29.jpg"><br /></a><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/TJP25AoEBtI/AAAAAAAAAN8/R_zoGoGr68c/s1600/CIMG0110+%283%29.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/TJP25AoEBtI/AAAAAAAAAN8/R_zoGoGr68c/s200/CIMG0110+%283%29.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5518025427740002002" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/TJP25uuYWWI/AAAAAAAAAOE/uiYNGQ1c1CE/s1600/CIMG0116+%284%29.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/TJP25uuYWWI/AAAAAAAAAOE/uiYNGQ1c1CE/s200/CIMG0116+%284%29.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5518025440114530658" border="0" /></a><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/TJP26D_DvLI/AAAAAAAAAOM/0e8gV22rPZs/s1600/CIMG0136+%283%29.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/TJP26D_DvLI/AAAAAAAAAOM/0e8gV22rPZs/s200/CIMG0136+%283%29.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5518025445821627570" border="0" /></a><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/TJP26_YNZEI/AAAAAAAAAOU/ca3aSTlMdps/s1600/CIMG0142+%284%29.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/TJP26_YNZEI/AAAAAAAAAOU/ca3aSTlMdps/s200/CIMG0142+%284%29.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5518025461764809794" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/TJP27ZqvgbI/AAAAAAAAAOc/afDvPklnsu0/s1600/CIMG0194+%283%29.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/TJP27ZqvgbI/AAAAAAAAAOc/afDvPklnsu0/s200/CIMG0194+%283%29.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5518025468821864882" border="0" /></a><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/TJP4g3jvz0I/AAAAAAAAAOk/3fiPrOv4aHg/s1600/CIMG0198+%283%29.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/TJP4g3jvz0I/AAAAAAAAAOk/3fiPrOv4aHg/s200/CIMG0198+%283%29.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5518027212012375874" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/TJP4hKzakoI/AAAAAAAAAOs/Fqkizu8pUJU/s1600/CIMG0203+%282%29.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/TJP4hKzakoI/AAAAAAAAAOs/Fqkizu8pUJU/s200/CIMG0203+%282%29.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5518027217178366594" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />After a long recovery we were invited to go to New York to work with Dr. Mike Joyce from Advanced Prosthetics. He is truly an amazing man and did great with Karsen.<br />We had a few hard spots and up until the last day I was really nervous we'd come home having wasted our time and money. We were running out of time and the cost to get out there was already so much. Thanks to my Mary Kay business I had the opportunity of earning the money to take us there. We didn't have it in our budget just to pick up and go so I am truly grateful to all my family, friends, team members & clients that helped get us there. Thanks to Dallin Larsen, Katy Larsen and Mike Joyce from MonaVie and the M.O.R.E. Project for also helping us get there and get home ;)<br /><br />We first had a mold made and within 24 hours and getting him up and walking his muscles and leg reacted and grew so we had to create a new mold. We spent over 40 hours hanging out in his office and on the last day they had perfected it. We put Karsen's leg on with no fuss, no fight and no crying. It fit great. We then booked it to the airport and unfortunately missed out flight. So we got to spend one more night at Dr. Joyce's beautiful home. The hospitality of him and his family was incredible.<br /><br />Dr. Mike Joyce and his amazing staff worked for hours creating a vacuum suction leg for him. We are so grateful for amazing people like these guys!! <a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/TJP5nJCFucI/AAAAAAAAAO0/gna1fSr54qs/s1600/CIMG0213+%283%29.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/TJP5nJCFucI/AAAAAAAAAO0/gna1fSr54qs/s200/CIMG0213+%283%29.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5518028419293886914" border="0" /></a>.<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dzhicOHMnN8nf2CkEzUUeoZ47dosGyOgZS7VMGCvYnQbpNANGV720ptVQSfpSwJdRDX9CEXmcEi62mlL2aPdw' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe>Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12257357815802905293noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1135744951054770877.post-67749274489362238842010-09-17T15:33:00.001-07:002010-09-17T15:40:48.473-07:00Thomas The Train<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/TJPtjDY3TdI/AAAAAAAAANM/M7E9Q-oUVs8/s1600/Karsen+getting+on+the+engine.JPG"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 196px; height: 200px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/TJPtjDY3TdI/AAAAAAAAANM/M7E9Q-oUVs8/s200/Karsen+getting+on+the+engine.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5518015154919787986" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/TJPth6n1mTI/AAAAAAAAAM8/g0JzwLf24es/s1600/Karsen+getting+his+ticket+stamped.JPG"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 172px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/TJPth6n1mTI/AAAAAAAAAM8/g0JzwLf24es/s200/Karsen+getting+his+ticket+stamped.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5518015135386802482" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/TJPthOuLVMI/AAAAAAAAAM0/Ue8F3Go3EYQ/s1600/Karsen+and+family+with+Thomas+the+Tank.bmp"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 140px; height: 200px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/TJPthOuLVMI/AAAAAAAAAM0/Ue8F3Go3EYQ/s200/Karsen+and+family+with+Thomas+the+Tank.bmp" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5518015123602232514" border="0" /></a>Karsen as The Honorary Conductor!!<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/TJPtile0KKI/AAAAAAAAANE/NQyilcW9Pqg/s1600/Karsen+getting+off+the+engine.JPG"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 196px; height: 200px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/TJPtile0KKI/AAAAAAAAANE/NQyilcW9Pqg/s200/Karsen+getting+off+the+engine.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5518015146891684002" border="0" /></a><br />We had a blast riding the train. Rick, Karsen & Jaxon all got to ride in the Engine. All 3 boys loved it!!<br />Thanks to Jennifer Day for nominating Karsen and to the great ladies from Good Things Utah!!Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12257357815802905293noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1135744951054770877.post-2773162632838229172010-07-17T21:26:00.000-07:002010-07-17T21:47:11.684-07:00Before & After<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/TEKEwHONgQI/AAAAAAAAAMA/LcBj_4LnyIw/s1600/CIMG0064.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/TEKEwHONgQI/AAAAAAAAAMA/LcBj_4LnyIw/s200/CIMG0064.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5495100457452667138" border="0" /></a>This is the way Karsen's leg looked before the expanders. You can see the tip of his bone (The white part). The Skin and bone are attached and would not allow any movement which caused blisters and pain when he wore his Transformer leg.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/TEKExSXJlhI/AAAAAAAAAMY/lqRTA64zx3E/s1600/CIMG0061.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/TEKExSXJlhI/AAAAAAAAAMY/lqRTA64zx3E/s200/CIMG0061.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5495100477622818322" border="0" /></a>This is the front side.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/TEKEwkXRmGI/AAAAAAAAAMI/8nq3m3UJ5ZE/s1600/CIMG0047.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/TEKEwkXRmGI/AAAAAAAAAMI/8nq3m3UJ5ZE/s200/CIMG0047.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5495100465275312226" border="0" /></a>This is his leg with the Expanders stretching the skin around it so that we could have it reconstructed by taking the skin graft off completely.<br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/TEKEw9sKhoI/AAAAAAAAAMQ/k-fgKr_B9Kk/s1600/CIMG0009+%282%29.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/TEKEw9sKhoI/AAAAAAAAAMQ/k-fgKr_B9Kk/s200/CIMG0009+%282%29.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5495100472073815682" border="0" /></a>This is the results of his long awaited reconstructive surgery. They shortened both bones and took off the skin graft. It looks and feels so much better.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/TEKExsV1bXI/AAAAAAAAAMg/L7Vx8FACYlQ/s1600/CIMG0001.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/TEKExsV1bXI/AAAAAAAAAMg/L7Vx8FACYlQ/s200/CIMG0001.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5495100484596624754" border="0" /></a>Front side again. Crazy how much they took off but Thankfully it is still at a great length for his New Leg!!<br /><br />We are leaving Sunday July 25th to take Karsen to see Dr. Mike Joyce from Advanced Prosthetics in Manhasset, NY to get him a new leg that will enhance his performance. Through many blessing and miracles (and the love and support of so many) we are looking forward to him walking again and riding his bike.<br /><br />Much Love!!<br /></div>Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12257357815802905293noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1135744951054770877.post-69281526804109799402010-06-08T21:45:00.000-07:002010-06-08T22:13:56.300-07:00The expanders are coming out!!Tomorrow is the big day a day we have all been anticipating. A while back we realized that <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Karsen's</span> Skin Graft was sticking to his bone and causing discomfort and scabbing on his leg which made wearing his prosthetic painful. We then put in 2 <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">expanders</span> to help stretch out his good skin to eventually go in and reconstruct the whole thing. Well Wednesday is the big day. They have scheduled him to be at the hospital at 12:45pm which means hungry baby all day. He can have clear liquids like Sprite or Apple Juice. My awesome assistant understanding the stress I'm under went and ran to get me some for him. (They are buds and love each other). I've been scrambling all over trying to get kids situated and Rick's in Vernal working so it's been a lot.<br />I've been looking forward to this surgery and anticipating it but for some reason I am feeling blah about it. Not sure if its worrying about the outcome if this is the final surgery for a while...Will this really work...How long will it be before he's back on his bike or walking...nervous about staying at the hospital...hoping to not have any triggers that bring it back and take me to that bad place in my head and heart. It's the little things.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/TA8gRuutF_I/AAAAAAAAALw/IJLxC7DVWMk/s1600/CIMG0046+%283%29.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/TA8gRuutF_I/AAAAAAAAALw/IJLxC7DVWMk/s200/CIMG0046+%283%29.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5480634760506972146" border="0" /></a>The two pictures show the before and after of the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">expanders</span>. The skinny one shows how his leg looked before we put them in and the other one shows them full.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/TA8gm2G3v-I/AAAAAAAAAL4/4Q325glSzuk/s1600/CIMG0117+%283%29.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/TA8gm2G3v-I/AAAAAAAAAL4/4Q325glSzuk/s200/CIMG0117+%283%29.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5480635123264634850" border="0" /></a> They will take out the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">expanders</span>, pull off the graft, shorten the bone, then pull the skin all together to create a much better looking leg. This I'm excited about because as you can see it's nasty looking. It makes people feel uncomfortable including me. But I do like to rub it for him to make sure it's not hurting. There will be 2 doctors working on him one (Marcy) to do the stump revision (bone shortening) and then *<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Faizi</span> will do the reconstruction of the skin. He's the plastic surgeon. Through it all I pray it looks better and feels better.<br />I will keep you all posted on the outcome...as for now keep praying for him to continue to have Superman strength and his amazingly positive attitude. Love my little Monkey he is the Best...He even said so himself (after he told me I was) <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">lol</span>.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/TA8cfOvhB8I/AAAAAAAAALY/y4UnQs7Hrnw/s1600/CIMG0046+%283%29.jpg"><br /></a>Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12257357815802905293noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1135744951054770877.post-31579584134235098822010-05-16T16:38:00.000-07:002010-05-16T17:30:48.098-07:00Karsen gets named Honorary Conductor with Thomas the Train<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/S_CNUfu2jhI/AAAAAAAAALI/4i7qqM0Ks-Y/s1600/GTU.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/S_CNUfu2jhI/AAAAAAAAALI/4i7qqM0Ks-Y/s200/GTU.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5472028930510065170" border="0" /></a><br /><p class="MsoPlainText">A good friend of mine sent this letter into Good Things Utah to nominate Karsen as an Honorary Conductor for the Day out with Thomas.</p>Hi-<br /><p class="MsoPlainText">I am not nominating anyone in my family, but would like to nominate the little boy of one of my girlfriends (the picture I attached I got off of their blog). His name is Karsen Mery and he is three years old. I don't have a picture of him in a conductor hat. I wanted to to do this without them knowing, but I thought this little guy's courage, as well as his family's, needed to be recognized. Back in September, just days after his third birthday, Karsen was in a horrible accident. His family had a ride on lawn mower, and his mother didn't see him behind her when she backed up, hitting Karsen. The lawn mower cut off his leg at the knee. He has been through many surgeries, and has had to learn to walk again. His mother has been trying to learn to forgive herself, and the family has been in the process of healing. Karsen is an amazing example of courage and determination. I'll never forget the day I watched a video of him walking for the first time after the accident (with the help of a walker), or watching him struggle getting up the stairs, but so determined to do it and to do it on his own. He is a little hero. I believe the opportunity to be the honorary conductor would mean a great deal to his family, and be a wonderful thing for this brave little man. They do have a blog that they update, specifically about Karsen and his conditions (he just recently had another surgery): http://karsenmery.blogspot.com. </p><p class="MsoPlainText"> Thank you,</p> <p class="MsoPlainText"> Jennifer Day</p><p class="MsoPlainText"><br /></p><p class="MsoPlainText">She then called me to let me know that Karsen was selected and that they wanted us to appear on Good Things Utah on May 14th. I was very excited but concerned if he could do it because Thomas is here over Memorial Day weekend and Karsen is having his reconstructive surgery on that Friday May 28th. Having my dates confused I was happy when I found out they wanted him there on Thursday May 27th at noon to kick off the event. It works out perfect with his surgery on Friday he will not be able to do much for a little while. He has 6 weeks to heal before he can start fitting for a new leg.</p><p class="MsoPlainText">We had fun meeting the Ladies from GTU they were so awesome. If I can figure out the video I will post it. Karsen was shy and terrified of Sir Toppem Hat so hopefully he'll be ready to yell "All Aboard" when he rides the train.</p><p class="MsoPlainText">We'd love for anyone to join us for a Day out with Thomas.<br /></p>Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12257357815802905293noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1135744951054770877.post-78280837261879247902010-04-07T21:13:00.000-07:002010-04-07T21:54:03.799-07:00Expanders...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/S71bb3HGVsI/AAAAAAAAAKg/-i1pk1HYfME/s1600/CIMG0008.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/S71bb3HGVsI/AAAAAAAAAKg/-i1pk1HYfME/s200/CIMG0008.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5457618857651230402" border="0" /></a><br /><br />I know it's been a long time and many people have stayed caught up with Facebook but I thought I would explain exactly what we are doing with Karsen's leg. When we did his first surgeries we did a skin graft. The skin took well but has not healed the greatest. The skin graft is stuck to his bone (you can see in the picture). So we are doing skin expanders, they are little bubbles (almost like implants) that have ports where they gradually fill with saline to expand or stretch out the skin. The purpose in doing this is to help create more good skin so that we can completely reconstruct his leg and get the skin unstuck from his bone.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/S71bbHoq9xI/AAAAAAAAAKY/-bDthSls5-I/s1600/CIMG0002.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/S71bbHoq9xI/AAAAAAAAAKY/-bDthSls5-I/s200/CIMG0002.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5457618844907140882" border="0" /></a>This picture is after we put the expanders in...<br /><br />Its quite the process. We had the first surgery to put in the expanders then we went in a couple weeks later to have them filled. <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/S71bdS0t6LI/AAAAAAAAAK4/1oG74lk59Uk/s1600/CIMG0055.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/S71bdS0t6LI/AAAAAAAAAK4/1oG74lk59Uk/s200/CIMG0055.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5457618882270193842" border="0" /></a>The top one was filled and then they couldn't find the port for the second one so he said we needed to go in surgically and find the port instead of poking around to find it. We scheduled it for the next day (which was today).<br /><br />Surgery day...They called to schedule the surgery for 10:45 so I planned to go to Harmony with my girls (it's their school singing group I choreograph for). Then went to a Zumba class (there is no better therapy then a fun workout). I got home hurried and got ready and off we went. On the way there I said to Rick "you didn't feed Karsen this morning right?" he said "um yeah he had cereal why?" Well he wasn't supposed to eat after midnight. I didn't tell him that so of course I can't get mad. When we got there they got us prepped in like record time and then said "they are ready for him we just have a few questions...when was the last time he ate?" I told them 8 and they said oh ok and low and be hold they wanted to have him not have eaten for 6-8 hours. Which put us ok for surgery at 2. It was 11:30!! So we went to the play room/pre-op area and hung out. Didn't find the video games till 2:30. 3 hours of just sitting there...<br />about 3:30 they came and got him took him back and what seemed like forever he was done and awake at 5. What I loved was that he didn't whine once. He pretty much knew exactly what to do and when. He didn't even need versed (sp) a calming drug to go back for surgery and when he woke up he just wanted another popsicle. He was seriously amazing!! A walk in the park.<br /><br />Here is how his leg looks today. It is going to get bigger over the next three weeks and then we will do a complete reconstructive surgery on May 5th. It is so gross looking but we know its for the best. Just counting down the days to his reconstruction! <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/S71bcZKV36I/AAAAAAAAAKo/Gi62ZTFNOqE/s1600/CIMG0047.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/S71bcZKV36I/AAAAAAAAAKo/Gi62ZTFNOqE/s200/CIMG0047.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5457618866791636898" border="0" /></a><br />My goal is by the time he is healed from this all to take him to Dr. Joyce in NY to do a Vacuum prosthetic. He has offered to help us it is just the cost of getting out there. My personal goal is to earn it by doing Mary Kay parties. So if you want to help and want to party let me know. I have some new fun things I am doing... from glamour makeovers to pedicures.<br /><br /><br />I just want to make a side note to everyone for the thoughts, prayers, notes, messages and food. You have no idea how much it helps. I have to admit that sometimes dealing with his leg and being at the hospital and whatnot I struggle. I have triggers that put me in a bad place mentally. I know it's not my fault but I can't help blaming myself. I am thankful for his strength because when he cries or I see him struggle a flood of guilt comes over me. I know that we are to learn something and that everything happens for a reason. I am grateful for my faith in the Lord and for the training I have had. Somedays the only thing that keeps me going is my family and my business with Mary Kay. My team is counting on me to lead them and I can't do that if I am down all the time. Believe it or not Rockstars you lift me up big time thanks for needing me!!<br /><br />Thanks again to everyone for the continued love and support it means the world to us!!Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12257357815802905293noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1135744951054770877.post-33000817323935600562010-03-03T12:01:00.000-08:002010-03-03T13:17:53.713-08:00Sometimes you have to step back to move forward...So today I talked with Lindsey at Dr. Siddiqi's office and unfortunately the next available appointment to do the surgery isn't till the end of April so we are still going to do it on March 17th.<br />I asked for a later time so I can still go to Harmony (our school singing group I co-choreograph for) Big Buddah from Fox 13 is coming to see us we are the "Cool School of the Week".<br /><br />I am nervous about the surgery they will be putting a "bubble" under his skin to help stretch it out so that we can take off the skin graft entirely and so that it won't stick to his bone anymore. The hardest part is it means no prosthetic till it's fully healed which is at least 8 weeks after this procedure. He will go in 2 weeks after to have a little saline put in it and then once a week for 5-7 weeks. I'm not excited but I know it's what we need to do.<br /><br />I worry because days like today he's been outside, upstairs, downstairs, all over in his prosthetic (and hasn't complained once). It makes me sad to know all through Spring he will not be able to ride his bike or run around. I know I'm a whiner but he's 3 and that's what he should be doing.<br /><br />On top of that work for Rick has been slow and hopefully will start to pick up. We are looking to have him do a Walmart in the middle of April which takes him (most likely to Texas or the midwest) for 8 weeks. Doing a Walmart will help us get back on our feet and try to get ahead. So it's single mom-hood for me. AND I am working my Mary Kay business as well. It is something I absolutely love doing and it has helped us so much financially through these last few months. Not to mention mentally too. Never thought I'd be so grateful for selling "lipstick" in my life but when it buys the groceries and pays the bills that we can't pay it's so worth it. I am working on doing big things with my business to better help my family out of the hole we are in. If you are a working mom you understand how that feels. (So if anyone is looking for a consultant and would like to help me reach my goals email me...nicolemery@marykay.com I'll tell you how you can ;)).<br /><br />Plus I am training to run the Ragnar Relay in June and possibly riding the MS ride (gotta get a bike first lol). I know I do it to myself but that's what happens when you love your family, love your business and have a love for working out and being on a team.<br /><br />We'll just ride out these next few months one day at a time. What doesn't kill us will only make us stronger. Please keep my little hero in your prayers so he can have the strength to overcome. He has no clue what's going to happen yet. Not sure how to tell him. <br /><br />Sometimes you have to step back to move forward...Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12257357815802905293noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1135744951054770877.post-59753359386300971022010-02-25T07:07:00.000-08:002010-02-25T08:43:23.278-08:00The trials we endure...I realized it's been a long time since I have updated the blog. I've had intentions but life keeps happening. So here goes...(apologizing in advance this isn't much of an update on his progress).<br />Do you ever wonder what you are working for? What is your goal in life, home, school, work, whatever? I have a lot recently. Sometimes we work so hard and for what? Lately I feel I am in a 10 foot hole with no way to get out. The walls aren't close enough for me to stretch my legs and climb out. I have no way to pull myself out. But its a hole I have dug for myself. With each successful thing I end up falling back down a little more battered and bruised then I was before. And the higher I climb the harder I fall. Well I am tired of being in that damn hole it's dark, depressing, cold and lonely. <br />Mother Theresa said, "I know God only gives us what He knows we can handle....sometimes I just wish He didn't think as highly of me as He does." Somedays I feel just like Mother Theresa. I know without a doubt that I am great. God gave me gifts and talents unlike any other. I am still searching for all of my talents but I know that I have a power within me. I also know Satan hates it. This accident with Karsen is the HARDEST thing I have ever endured and trust me I've been to hell and back a couple times. <br />I know I should count my blessings and I do and I should focus on the positive and I do the best I can. But lately I feel as though I have been stripped of all happy thoughts all positive moments. I focus on whats going right in our lives just to be awakened with yet another heartache. <br />Karsen is due for another surgery and we have been talking to different doctors and been offered options here and there. The hard part is what is the right option. I want the best for Karsen not because I am spoiled and think that but because he deserves it. I hate feeling I have robbed him of so many things but I feel as though it is my job to provide everything for him. That lately has been hard to do because the "best" cost money and time of which I don't have much of either. I get so bogged down with things that I can't think clearly and it makes me want to hide until I find the answer. We were talking with a Dr. in Florida about seeing Karsen he is one of the best but I am feeling ok with not taking Karsen there. The hard part is the money was the main thing that stopped me and there are plenty of amazing doctors here too. We have the bubble surgery scheduled on the 17th but want to postpone it till the first week in April. I wanted to postpone it because of our annual family vacation and only one for a while to Vegas for the Monster Trucks (I know redneck). I know it may not be the best plan to go in our situation but my kids love it and its already paid for. (Rick and I enjoy it too I am looking forward to a break and some sunshine). I wanted to wait on the surgery so that Karsen can use his prosthesis and get around as normal as possible (not a fan of spectators). But now his leg hurts his prosthesis doesn't fit so there goes that idea. I feel stuck, know what do we do. I had made an appointment to see Dr. Paley in Florida but decided to cancel and stick somewhat with the plan we have. Although I really want to work with the Dr in New York. His prosthetic ideas for Karsen make me feel confident in a chance for more normalcy for him as well as greater progression. <br />The little things really do hurt the most. When I put Karsen in his transformer leg and he can't wear it for more then 20 minutes really sucks. He wants to run! I hate thinking negatively about the summer and don't want to see him on the sidelines playing his stupid DS while the other kids are running around playing. This surgery will set us back for a while and that's what is frustrating. Do I go get a new leg made just to have to make a new one when he's all healed or do I do the surgery and start the healing process despite upcoming events. On top of all of it my amazingly hard working husband Rick has not had a lot of work (it's feast or famine in this business) but has the opportunity of doing a Walmart come April. Great work for him and great pay (help catch us up and get ahead) but sucks to have him gone for 2 months 5 states away. (Trust me I have gained a huge amount of respect for single mothers through these Walmart adventures). Its hard not to be selfish and feel bad that I get left with all the responsibilities. As well as a recovering little guy that depends on me more then most 3 year olds do. Hate to be honest but I feel that is all my fault. I also feel guilty for not working harder myself. I have an amazing opportunity in the palm of my hands and what do I do I play with it not use it more to my families benefit.<br />I thought I had worked through this I have seen an amazing Life coach and counselor Nadeen and after almost 3 hours or reliving the most painful experience going through every detail and every emotion I felt so much better. I looked at Karsen without blame or guilt right after. Then the damn insurance company sent us a paper basically wondering "who can we blame it on?". Again I know it's not my fault but to write on a paper that they can't blame it on anything or anyone but ME and I'm on the insurance (sorry you have to pay for it) the visions and guilt came flooding back. Since then I've struggled staying in a happy place especially when I feel like everything around me is falling apart. No work for Rick, Karsen's in pain, kids getting sick, my setbacks in my business, my grandma's struggle with cancer (she's one of my most favorite people in the world) and many others.<br />I want to be the best wife, best mother, best friend, best sister, best daughter/granddaughter, best consultant and best director I know I can be but each area I am struggling. I know that the true test of a woman's character is what it takes to stop her. Well I'm not stopping I may peddle backwards a little or move slowly forward but I will persevere. MY FAMILY DESERVES IT!!<br />Sorry for being such a whiner I plan to be a WINNER I just need to shake it off and step up. We don't learn from our successes we learn from our failures. All of my kids have taught me so much but the main thing is without all the wonderful material things in life we have each other. We have love, life and so much more to live for.<br />To all my FB friends thank you for your kind words and tidbits of advice. It helps to know I am loved and supported. I don't usually voice the days that I struggle the most. The days I truly regret the decisions I made that day. I've made a lot of bad choices but don't regret many of them because of the lessons I've learned. I know everything happens for the reason and one day (hopefully sooner then later) I will understand what this is all about. Why this happened and for what reasons. I will know what God's plan for me is. Thanks to everyone that has supported our family. I don't know what I'd do without you. Karsen and I as well as the rest of my family are so much stronger because of the prayers, thoughts, letters, visits, donations and kindness from everyone. I am deeply humbled and full of gratitude to all!!<br /><br />I will keep you posted on the decisions and progression we make. Still looking for some answers so wish me luck!!Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12257357815802905293noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1135744951054770877.post-16678373074882590272010-01-18T18:15:00.000-08:002010-01-18T18:37:57.933-08:00Karsen's due for another Surgery...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/S1UYH_N16gI/AAAAAAAAAKI/eH_RJotPNto/s1600-h/CIMG0227.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/S1UYH_N16gI/AAAAAAAAAKI/eH_RJotPNto/s200/CIMG0227.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5428271451372644866" border="0" /></a><br />Karsen is due for another surgery on St. Patricks day. His Plastic Surgeon is going to go in and remove the Skin Graft and stretch his good skin over and close it so it will all be his smooth skin. If you can't tell Karsen's graft is pretty much attached to his bone. So when he wears his prosthetic it rubs wrong and causes scabbing which makes him uncomfortable. It also makes it hard to put on his transformer leg because he needs it to heal.<br /><br />When they do the surgery they are going to put in a bubble. Two weeks after the surgery they will go in and slowly fill it will water once a week for 4 weeks. The bubble will help keep the skin from attaching to the bone. After that they will remove the bubble and **fingers crossed** it will look so much better and be able to handle longer wear on his prosthetic. I'm looking forward to that!!<br /><br />On a more fun note. Karsen is CRAZY and is not afraid of much. Today he started trying to climb the fridge with his feet then the counter then the door. He succeeded after we moved some stuff out of the way and Voila' he is doing handstands up against the door.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/S1UawW78_1I/AAAAAAAAAKQ/EpUcH8_w9iI/s1600-h/Karsen+handstand.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_wHWH33p-rYU/S1UawW78_1I/AAAAAAAAAKQ/EpUcH8_w9iI/s200/Karsen+handstand.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5428274343958085458" border="0" /></a> Love my monkey!!Nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12257357815802905293noreply@blogger.com0