Karsen Mery

Meet Benjamin!!!

2011-10-26T19:43:00.000-07:00

Meet Ben he is our new Friend as well as his wonderful family!! Ben was in a lawn mower Accident just like Karsen. He had a through the knee Amputation which requires a more complicated prosthetic and since he is only 4 and small it complicates it even more. He has a prosthetic but has no way to bend which will make it uncomfortable to walk not to mention what it will do to his hips.

HELP US RAISE MONEY FOR HIM TO GET A BETTER FITTING LEG!!!

You can Donate through Karsen's blog and all proceeds will go to their family to help them.

Help us pay it forward!! I know you all have a special place in your heart for our family help spread that love to the Steinfeldts!!

More details from his accident are below...

Never Thought in a Million Years...Time to pay it forward!!!

2011-10-26T18:50:00.000-07:00

When Karsen's Accident happened we heard a statistic the there were 600 lawn mower accidents a year. Some similar to ours but some different. A little while back I received a call from Dr. Marci she called to ask a huge favor for Karsen and I to go to Primaries and meet a family that was now experiencing the same thing we were. My heart instantly broke and I agreed to go visit them that day. I tried hard to be strong and not cry and it didn't help that Rick wasn't home to go but the minute I talked to him I broke down and just cried. I would never wish this upon anyone and now here it is not far from us. The physical and mental heart ache is at times unbearable.

We went up and met with Ben who is only 4 and his parents Anthony and Eleisha...the similarity between our families and our experience was crazy. Anthony was on the lawn mower and Ben got knocked over due to some brake issues. His leg was severed as well but unfortunately due to lack of skin and from what Marci told me the issues we've had and many surgeries they decided to do a through the knee Amputation. Ben spent a couple days in the hospital and his recovery has gone well. He should have normal growth and they shouldn't have bone growth issues like we have but his prosthetic is going to be a lot more complicated and require more physical therapy learning to walk with it. Ben and his family are from Manti and came up for a fitting at Shriner's and after a long hard appointment they went home with no prosthetic and finding that he is too small for the knee part of the prosthetic. They just don't make them that small. He was refitted without the knee this past Monday but without the knee so he will have a stiff straight leg. Eleisha and Anthony are working with some specialists on making a knee part that will fit but as we know once you venture out of the limitations at Shriner's things have cost. Shriner's is incredible and we all love them but they are limited to what they can do. There is a fundraiser for Benjamin and we will be collecting through Karsen's website for their family to help with this cost as well as all the travel expense going back and forth from Manti. Please help our family raise some money for this family. We have been beyond blessed from all of you and your donations of time, love, help and money I'd love to show them the same support. Every little bit helps!!!

Leg #4 and Still Growing...

2011-08-18T22:39:00.000-07:00

It's been forever since I have updated but we've been doing pretty good. Karsen is still the champ he always has been and with sisters and a brother like his he stays active and happy. He's healed really good from his Femur Break but now our only concern is his fibula & tibia. He has grown so much the tibia is now almost as long as his fibula (it was half the size) and it's growing in pretty sharp and pointy. We went and got refitted for another Prosthetic so we can prolong surgery...It's been a year praying it will be even longer.

Karsen's attitude has been incredible and of course nothing stops him from getting what he wants. We've hit a few emotional snags. Some of the ones I feared...like "I wish I had my leg back" and the last one was "when I'm 10 will my leg have grown back". Unfortunately It's those moments that break my heart. Come to find out he was just being lazy and doesn't want to put his leg on. Nothing much more then that.

We've had a great year he's gone camping, swimming and 4 wheeling even went boating. Trying to keep him active and involved. We just recently went to Lagoon and after a couple hours of walking he was pretty worn out but had fun. He was on his old leg. This new one is awesome it has a Truper foot and helps keep his alignment straight. The Truper foot has little shocks in it to give it more of a real ankle feel. The minute he put it on it was a major difference to me how he walked. The hope is to keep him going running and riding his bike. Peter his Prothesis Dr up at Shriner's said he'd probably grow out of this leg in 6 or so months too.

The good side to his down time is he's retained a lot of knowledge and we are starting him early to Kindergarten (come to find out just like his Dr. Marcy). Excited to have him learn to read better and continue with his education. He wants to be a Dr. Like Marcy some day too!!

My goal and prayer is for this next September to be a great one and for Karsen to have health and strength and NO MORE ACCIDENTS!! We can't wait to celebrate his 5th birthday without a body cast!!

Feeling back to "normal"

2011-04-22T07:50:00.001-07:00

I have been meaning to blog for a while but life has been crazy but great!!
The last time I blogged was when we were at a year Karsen had broken his femur and we were feeling has though we were taking steps back instead of forward.
Karsen really is a champ...he sat for 10 weeks in his spica cast having to go under to redo it and then when they took it off. He got it off right before Halloween and couldn't have been more excited.
After that we were back to rehabilitation. He wasn't able to put his Prosthesis on for 2 more weeks and after that it was limited. Thank goodness the one we got from New York fit but only after a few adjustments and only for a short time. At that time I was discouraged having spent the time and money to go out there feeling as though it was a waste now that his leg had been through so much more. We ended up going to Shriners and got a new fitting where we got his Scooby leg. Love working with Pete up there he has done amazing things for us.
The good news is with him having a amputated leg we can adjust his prosthesis to help his legs to be the same length. It's been quite the process but we have all grown so much.

We also have done some great things since the last post. We did the 2nd annual Run Karsen Run and thanks to some incredible friends for putting it together it wouldn't have happened. We wanted to do it as a pay it forward event and was able to give back to Shriner's. I am full of gratitude for everyone that attended and participated and especially helped put it together. As soon as Karsen broke his leg I was at his beck and call 24/7 considering he couldn't even go to the bathroom on his own. Rick and I took turns carrying and were very grateful he could pee in a bottle. lol. The event was amazing and we were able to donate to Shriners and help cover the emergency costs of his new adventure.
After that we just kept working on adjusting him to help make his leg fit more comfortably and so he can walk. It was a little frustrating for him to be limping all the time. He was doing so well before you wouldn't have even known he had a prosthetic but now it was painful to walk.
One day we were walking into the store and he told me his leg was hurting but he'd be ok because he could do it! His determination and independence amazes me everyday!!
Since then we have been living life and doing great. He has been going to preschool and plays like everyone else. I only have mini heart attacks on occasion when he goes outside and ends up crying. It's usually because his older brother is picking on him. He is a typical 4 year old and on occasion is catching up on the tantrums he didn't get to throw while he was 3.
He has managed to walk, run, ride his bike, hike & even jump on a trampoline.
I am so proud of him and all my babies for the amazing children that they are. The encouragement the give each other and the raised level of compassion they have for everyone.
We are so blessed to have great family & friends. I'm so grateful to be on the mend and past the HELL we have been through. We still will have day to day struggles but they are nothing compared to what they used to be.

One Year Later...

2010-09-24T08:10:00.000-07:00

So today has been on my mind a lot. It's not really an anniversary or a celebration but to realize it's been a year. A year from hell I might add. A year of pain, heartache, fear, trials, challenges as well as triumphs, successes and love. It's is crazy to reflect the changes from last year to this year. Some things are the same but others are so different. I can't believe the change physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually we have all gone through.
I don't necessarily like to recall the activities of that day and thanks to my Life Coach Nadeen Rawlings I am not physically reliving it every time I look at Karsen's leg. Through the worst reliving all I could think about was what if I would've gone further he wouldn't be here and then I'd really not know where I'd be right now. That painful thought doesn't come around as often. I do still wish it would've been the dog (not that I don't care for my dogs but if I had to chose well you get it right?)
When I recap and even reread through the blog I have concluded that Karsen has been put under for some sort of surgery now almost 20 times. He endured 10-12 of them in the hospital the 1st 2 weeks. He's kind of a pro now. He no longer freaks out and always wants a popsicle when he wakes up. One of the little things I love is that the nurses worry he won't wake up but the minute he hears my voice he does. He's also had to learn to walk 3 times and soon it will be 4 after his femur heals. I loved when he learned to walk as a baby but the real joy was seeing him walk to Rick last November and again in New York. The joy and emotions are overwhelming. To see him "normal" again.
I try my hardest to stay positive and not dwell on the negative selfish thoughts but the truth of the matter is they are there. I have learned again thanks to Nadeen that my coping method is something we develop as children and mine is to keep it all to myself put on a strong face and just keep moving. I realized that at some of the hardest times I couldn't handle being in the same room with Karsen for fear of losing it but I had to be within hearing distance if he needed me. I have cried many nights wishing my baby wasn't ruined. That he was whole again. I admit I became selfish focusing on taking care of his needs but also my own. Finding escapes that were unnecessary even if it was running to the store with no kids. Sometimes I get angry and wonder why the hell this had to happen. I do believe things happen for a reason and I've asked many times what am I supposed to learn from all of this and when I think I know we are hit with another "life lesson".
My heart aches when I see him struggle. We have let him figure things out and tried not to cater too much so that he will learn. He tries after cruising up and down the stairs to get me to carry him this one last time because he "can't put pressure on his leg" or so he says. It is hard to see him refuse to wear his leg and just want to sit there while everyone plays around him. I struggle a lot with the future, with rejection, ridicule and inability. Simple thoughts of going swimming in a public place and the gawking eyes. I have asked all the weird questions like what if he wants to play a sport and can't or what if the girls don't like him or are repulsed by him. It's such a stupid mind game I hate it.
The good news is is that each day he teaches and inspires me. Some days it is pure patience he teaches me (especially now that he is 100% dependent on me). One day in particular we were sitting in our large front room. I was reading something and Karsen and Jaxon were playing. Karsen had a little where's waldo timer from some fast food joint. Jaxon was running in circles and I challenged him to see how many times he could run through the kitchen, living room and back to where we were before the timer was up. Karsen said "yeah let's race". As I sat and watched I learned an incredible lesson. Karsen didn't have his leg on so he wanted to race on his knees not even crawling. I said ok "Ready, Set, GO!" they both took off and as they reached the doorway to the kitchen (maybe 4 ft from where they started) Karsen stopped as Jaxon hurried around and kept going. Karsen sat there with a scowl on his face. That nurturing part of me as a mother wanted to pick him up and tell him it was ok and give him loves while he was upset but the other part of me decided to stop and observe. As I sat there I watched that scowl and sad look of disappointment do something I've never seen anyone do. Most humans would instantly cry or whine that they aren't good enough or that they "suck". Well Karsen has every right to be angry and frustrated but within 60 seconds he did the exact opposite. He sat there for a few and then looked over at me and saw the timer on the floor and said "Jaxon do it again and I will time you" He crawled over picked up the timer and with the best attitude said "ok ready, set, go". WOW is all I could think. I have never seen a 3 year old do something like that. To change his attitude and find a way to enjoy the fun. It seriously made me wish I was more capable of doing that.
The other day Rick was talking to Karsen and the topic of the accident came up. If you ask Karsen what happened he will still tell you that mommy ran him over with the lawn mower (so much for him forgetting). Rick asked him what he was doing Karsen replied I was following mommy, Rick then asked why (when he knew he wasn't supposed to) he replied I don't know. Rick said why didn't you get out of there Karsen then told him I fell over and then mommy backed up. This thought is heart wrenching to me. To think of how helpless he felt and the fear as well as the pain. It's thoughts and moments like this that tear me down. That hurt the most to think about and again make me question WHY??
When Karsen received his Spica Cast he really didn't want anyone to write on it but one day I thought I'm going to write on the bar. I know we will at least keep that part so I wrote on it "Mommy Loves You" so every time he looks down he will be reminded. A couple days later we were going through each letter and he knows what it says and he told me I want you to put "I love mommy" after it. Being the emotional freak I have been lately just held him so grateful that he does. It sounds so silly but every time he says it my heartache goes away more and more. Every time any of my kids wrap their arms around me and tell me they love me it fills me up more then anything.
Karsen has already touched so many lives in the person that he is and the way he has fought through this. I know that Heavenly Father gave him to us for many reasons. I know that Karsen lived to make a difference. His spirit is that of an incredible one. He keeps our family focused and find gratitude in the little things. I can't tell you how grateful I am that he as a whole person has not been altered. He is still the fun, happy, joking kid he was before he just has a limb missing. Jazmine, Kyliane and Jaxon never cease to amaze me as well. They don't treat him as if he's an alien and they are so thoughtful. After Karsen had his cast put on Jaxon spent the whole morning sitting next to him watching movies, getting toys and even making him giggle.
The have all excelled in school being top readers, great at math and leaders in their classrooms. Jaxon is amazing at Karate. We have tried to keep their lives steady and have things for them since a lot of time and energy goes into Karsen's care.
It is hard to be down and boy have we been down but there are so many things that are positive to focus on. I can't say that I am the best at this but some days I tell myself we are better then this we can overcome this. This has been the hardest year for my life, my existence, our marriage, our finances, everything. But our conclusion is simple...At least we still have each other. We would give up all of our possessions if that meant keeping our family. I am so grateful that Rick still loves me. I know sounds weird but I've heard comments of husbands not sure they could forgive their wife or just simply they'd be so angry. He is my rock that holds me together when I am falling apart. Even though sometimes I hate when I am down and he tells me "it's all good we are gonna get through this" It makes me want to punch him in the face. But I realize what we have made it through this year and to be where we are now as a couple and a family I am positive things will work out fantastic!! (not sure it could get worse) We are fighters!! We are ROCKSTARS!! lol

Thanks again to EVERYONE that has helped us this last year. Through love, prayers, thoughts, friendships, donations, food, hugs, notes and positive vibes. It is you that has helped us to stay strong as well. It takes a village to raise a child so thank you all for helping me raise all 4 of mine to be the best most beautiful children they can be. I wish we knew how to show our gratitude more the everyone. Please know that we love you all and have the utmost respect for your love for us.

Karsen Happens!!

2010-09-17T17:49:00.000-07:00

As we come up to Karsen's 4th birthday and 1 year from this horrific accident. We have planned birthday parties and events to celebrate the progress that Karsen has made. Unfortunately we have another 6 week set back.
I took Karsen with some friends to the park and he was playing on a seat that spins.
He sat down on it on our way out. I went to grab my water bottle across the way and heard a child scream "someone stop me, stop me, stop me!!" realizing it was Karsen I ran over as fast as I could to stop him. I was about 5 ft away when he pushed himself off. (Sure wish the two moms standing near him would've helped me out). After getting to him and seeing his leg in a weird position I thought it was just his prosthesis well I was wrong. The lady (standing near him) covered her mouth saying oh my gosh his leg. I assured her it was probably his prosthetic. I rushed over to my friends van taking off his leg while running and him screaming...that heartbreaking cry I heard almost a year ago. I knew something was so wrong. I got his leg off and then laid him down near the car to pull his pants off to get his liner off. When I pulled his pants off I saw his thigh swollen and thought to myself "Please no don't be broken". Unfortunately it was. We put him in the car and rushed to Riverton IHC where they took xray's and said his left Femur was broken. They then transported us via Ambulance to Primaries. Once we arrived there I told them to call Marci his Othopedic Surgeon to at least let her know. She called me while I was there and told me if I could get to Shriner's she could get me in right away if we wait at Primaries it would be 10pm. So my Brother's (who were there waiting for us when we arrived at Primaries LOVE THEM) found us a ride to Shriners. We finally got to Marci. Karsen was comfortable after 4 mg of Morphine and a splint. He wanted to go home and didn't like the description of the Spica Cast he overheard us discussing. I was and still am heartbroken. Our life yet again is altered. We were finally using his leg for everything. He had started preschool and now we are back to square one only to look forward to him learning to walk again.

His cast starts at his chest and goes to his calf on his right side and covers his whole amputated leg. He has an opening to go to the restroom (we've been using a bottle lol). This was the first time any of the doctors working on him had ever done a spica cast on an amputated leg. We now have to worry about his leg shrinking too much and growing improperly. We can make up for it if it does a little with a prosthesis but won't know till we get there.
This poor guy has been through hell. It took him about 24 hours to realize he is completely immobilized and has to depend on Rick and I fully for anything. It's going to be a rough 6 weeks for him but I am grateful for my amazing kids that are willing to sit and play with him. Nothing warms my broken heart then the sound of his laughter with his syblings & visitors.

Thank you Brandon & Tracy for being there for me at the hospital I can't tell you how good it felt to have warm embracing arms to hug. Thanks to Kara, Grandma Debbi and Tali for visiting and helping us (me) with so much. Warm reassuring hugs mean the world even if its partnered with a good cry. Thank you to everyone that has called, email and been there for us even friends of friends and family and strangers. Thank you all!!

NEW YORK!!

2010-09-17T15:41:00.000-07:00

After a long recovery we were invited to go to New York to work with Dr. Mike Joyce from Advanced Prosthetics. He is truly an amazing man and did great with Karsen.
We had a few hard spots and up until the last day I was really nervous we'd come home having wasted our time and money. We were running out of time and the cost to get out there was already so much. Thanks to my Mary Kay business I had the opportunity of earning the money to take us there. We didn't have it in our budget just to pick up and go so I am truly grateful to all my family, friends, team members & clients that helped get us there. Thanks to Dallin Larsen, Katy Larsen and Mike Joyce from MonaVie and the M.O.R.E. Project for also helping us get there and get home ;)

We first had a mold made and within 24 hours and getting him up and walking his muscles and leg reacted and grew so we had to create a new mold. We spent over 40 hours hanging out in his office and on the last day they had perfected it. We put Karsen's leg on with no fuss, no fight and no crying. It fit great. We then booked it to the airport and unfortunately missed out flight. So we got to spend one more night at Dr. Joyce's beautiful home. The hospitality of him and his family was incredible.

Dr. Mike Joyce and his amazing staff worked for hours creating a vacuum suction leg for him. We are so grateful for amazing people like these guys!! .

Thomas The Train

2010-09-17T15:33:00.001-07:00

Karsen as The Honorary Conductor!!
We had a blast riding the train. Rick, Karsen & Jaxon all got to ride in the Engine. All 3 boys loved it!!
Thanks to Jennifer Day for nominating Karsen and to the great ladies from Good Things Utah!!

Before & After

2010-07-17T21:26:00.000-07:00

This is the way Karsen's leg looked before the expanders. You can see the tip of his bone (The white part). The Skin and bone are attached and would not allow any movement which caused blisters and pain when he wore his Transformer leg.

This is the front side.

This is his leg with the Expanders stretching the skin around it so that we could have it reconstructed by taking the skin graft off completely.

This is the results of his long awaited reconstructive surgery. They shortened both bones and took off the skin graft. It looks and feels so much better.

Front side again. Crazy how much they took off but Thankfully it is still at a great length for his New Leg!!

We are leaving Sunday July 25th to take Karsen to see Dr. Mike Joyce from Advanced Prosthetics in Manhasset, NY to get him a new leg that will enhance his performance. Through many blessing and miracles (and the love and support of so many) we are looking forward to him walking again and riding his bike.

Much Love!!

The expanders are coming out!!

2010-06-08T21:45:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is the big day a day we have all been anticipating. A while back we realized that Karsen's Skin Graft was sticking to his bone and causing discomfort and scabbing on his leg which made wearing his prosthetic painful. We then put in 2 expanders to help stretch out his good skin to eventually go in and reconstruct the whole thing. Well Wednesday is the big day. They have scheduled him to be at the hospital at 12:45pm which means hungry baby all day. He can have clear liquids like Sprite or Apple Juice. My awesome assistant understanding the stress I'm under went and ran to get me some for him. (They are buds and love each other). I've been scrambling all over trying to get kids situated and Rick's in Vernal working so it's been a lot.
I've been looking forward to this surgery and anticipating it but for some reason I am feeling blah about it. Not sure if its worrying about the outcome if this is the final surgery for a while...Will this really work...How long will it be before he's back on his bike or walking...nervous about staying at the hospital...hoping to not have any triggers that bring it back and take me to that bad place in my head and heart. It's the little things.
The two pictures show the before and after of the expanders. The skinny one shows how his leg looked before we put them in and the other one shows them full. They will take out the expanders, pull off the graft, shorten the bone, then pull the skin all together to create a much better looking leg. This I'm excited about because as you can see it's nasty looking. It makes people feel uncomfortable including me. But I do like to rub it for him to make sure it's not hurting. There will be 2 doctors working on him one (Marcy) to do the stump revision (bone shortening) and then *Faizi will do the reconstruction of the skin. He's the plastic surgeon. Through it all I pray it looks better and feels better.
I will keep you all posted on the outcome...as for now keep praying for him to continue to have Superman strength and his amazingly positive attitude. Love my little Monkey he is the Best...He even said so himself (after he told me I was) lol.

Karsen gets named Honorary Conductor with Thomas the Train

2010-05-16T16:38:00.000-07:00

A good friend of mine sent this letter into Good Things Utah to nominate Karsen as an Honorary Conductor for the Day out with Thomas.

Hi-

I am not nominating anyone in my family, but would like to nominate the little boy of one of my girlfriends (the picture I attached I got off of their blog). His name is Karsen Mery and he is three years old. I don't have a picture of him in a conductor hat. I wanted to to do this without them knowing, but I thought this little guy's courage, as well as his family's, needed to be recognized. Back in September, just days after his third birthday, Karsen was in a horrible accident. His family had a ride on lawn mower, and his mother didn't see him behind her when she backed up, hitting Karsen. The lawn mower cut off his leg at the knee. He has been through many surgeries, and has had to learn to walk again. His mother has been trying to learn to forgive herself, and the family has been in the process of healing. Karsen is an amazing example of courage and determination. I'll never forget the day I watched a video of him walking for the first time after the accident (with the help of a walker), or watching him struggle getting up the stairs, but so determined to do it and to do it on his own. He is a little hero. I believe the opportunity to be the honorary conductor would mean a great deal to his family, and be a wonderful thing for this brave little man. They do have a blog that they update, specifically about Karsen and his conditions (he just recently had another surgery): http://karsenmery.blogspot.com.

Thank you,

Jennifer Day

She then called me to let me know that Karsen was selected and that they wanted us to appear on Good Things Utah on May 14th. I was very excited but concerned if he could do it because Thomas is here over Memorial Day weekend and Karsen is having his reconstructive surgery on that Friday May 28th. Having my dates confused I was happy when I found out they wanted him there on Thursday May 27th at noon to kick off the event. It works out perfect with his surgery on Friday he will not be able to do much for a little while. He has 6 weeks to heal before he can start fitting for a new leg.

We had fun meeting the Ladies from GTU they were so awesome. If I can figure out the video I will post it. Karsen was shy and terrified of Sir Toppem Hat so hopefully he'll be ready to yell "All Aboard" when he rides the train.

We'd love for anyone to join us for a Day out with Thomas.

Expanders...

2010-04-07T21:13:00.000-07:00

I know it's been a long time and many people have stayed caught up with Facebook but I thought I would explain exactly what we are doing with Karsen's leg. When we did his first surgeries we did a skin graft. The skin took well but has not healed the greatest. The skin graft is stuck to his bone (you can see in the picture). So we are doing skin expanders, they are little bubbles (almost like implants) that have ports where they gradually fill with saline to expand or stretch out the skin. The purpose in doing this is to help create more good skin so that we can completely reconstruct his leg and get the skin unstuck from his bone.This picture is after we put the expanders in...

Its quite the process. We had the first surgery to put in the expanders then we went in a couple weeks later to have them filled. The top one was filled and then they couldn't find the port for the second one so he said we needed to go in surgically and find the port instead of poking around to find it. We scheduled it for the next day (which was today).

Surgery day...They called to schedule the surgery for 10:45 so I planned to go to Harmony with my girls (it's their school singing group I choreograph for). Then went to a Zumba class (there is no better therapy then a fun workout). I got home hurried and got ready and off we went. On the way there I said to Rick "you didn't feed Karsen this morning right?" he said "um yeah he had cereal why?" Well he wasn't supposed to eat after midnight. I didn't tell him that so of course I can't get mad. When we got there they got us prepped in like record time and then said "they are ready for him we just have a few questions...when was the last time he ate?" I told them 8 and they said oh ok and low and be hold they wanted to have him not have eaten for 6-8 hours. Which put us ok for surgery at 2. It was 11:30!! So we went to the play room/pre-op area and hung out. Didn't find the video games till 2:30. 3 hours of just sitting there...
about 3:30 they came and got him took him back and what seemed like forever he was done and awake at 5. What I loved was that he didn't whine once. He pretty much knew exactly what to do and when. He didn't even need versed (sp) a calming drug to go back for surgery and when he woke up he just wanted another popsicle. He was seriously amazing!! A walk in the park.

Here is how his leg looks today. It is going to get bigger over the next three weeks and then we will do a complete reconstructive surgery on May 5th. It is so gross looking but we know its for the best. Just counting down the days to his reconstruction!
My goal is by the time he is healed from this all to take him to Dr. Joyce in NY to do a Vacuum prosthetic. He has offered to help us it is just the cost of getting out there. My personal goal is to earn it by doing Mary Kay parties. So if you want to help and want to party let me know. I have some new fun things I am doing... from glamour makeovers to pedicures.

I just want to make a side note to everyone for the thoughts, prayers, notes, messages and food. You have no idea how much it helps. I have to admit that sometimes dealing with his leg and being at the hospital and whatnot I struggle. I have triggers that put me in a bad place mentally. I know it's not my fault but I can't help blaming myself. I am thankful for his strength because when he cries or I see him struggle a flood of guilt comes over me. I know that we are to learn something and that everything happens for a reason. I am grateful for my faith in the Lord and for the training I have had. Somedays the only thing that keeps me going is my family and my business with Mary Kay. My team is counting on me to lead them and I can't do that if I am down all the time. Believe it or not Rockstars you lift me up big time thanks for needing me!!

Thanks again to everyone for the continued love and support it means the world to us!!

Sometimes you have to step back to move forward...

2010-03-03T12:01:00.000-08:00

So today I talked with Lindsey at Dr. Siddiqi's office and unfortunately the next available appointment to do the surgery isn't till the end of April so we are still going to do it on March 17th.
I asked for a later time so I can still go to Harmony (our school singing group I co-choreograph for) Big Buddah from Fox 13 is coming to see us we are the "Cool School of the Week".

I am nervous about the surgery they will be putting a "bubble" under his skin to help stretch it out so that we can take off the skin graft entirely and so that it won't stick to his bone anymore. The hardest part is it means no prosthetic till it's fully healed which is at least 8 weeks after this procedure. He will go in 2 weeks after to have a little saline put in it and then once a week for 5-7 weeks. I'm not excited but I know it's what we need to do.

I worry because days like today he's been outside, upstairs, downstairs, all over in his prosthetic (and hasn't complained once). It makes me sad to know all through Spring he will not be able to ride his bike or run around. I know I'm a whiner but he's 3 and that's what he should be doing.

On top of that work for Rick has been slow and hopefully will start to pick up. We are looking to have him do a Walmart in the middle of April which takes him (most likely to Texas or the midwest) for 8 weeks. Doing a Walmart will help us get back on our feet and try to get ahead. So it's single mom-hood for me. AND I am working my Mary Kay business as well. It is something I absolutely love doing and it has helped us so much financially through these last few months. Not to mention mentally too. Never thought I'd be so grateful for selling "lipstick" in my life but when it buys the groceries and pays the bills that we can't pay it's so worth it. I am working on doing big things with my business to better help my family out of the hole we are in. If you are a working mom you understand how that feels. (So if anyone is looking for a consultant and would like to help me reach my goals email me...nicolemery@marykay.com I'll tell you how you can ;)).

Plus I am training to run the Ragnar Relay in June and possibly riding the MS ride (gotta get a bike first lol). I know I do it to myself but that's what happens when you love your family, love your business and have a love for working out and being on a team.

We'll just ride out these next few months one day at a time. What doesn't kill us will only make us stronger. Please keep my little hero in your prayers so he can have the strength to overcome. He has no clue what's going to happen yet. Not sure how to tell him.

Sometimes you have to step back to move forward...

The trials we endure...

2010-02-25T07:07:00.000-08:00

I realized it's been a long time since I have updated the blog. I've had intentions but life keeps happening. So here goes...(apologizing in advance this isn't much of an update on his progress).
Do you ever wonder what you are working for? What is your goal in life, home, school, work, whatever? I have a lot recently. Sometimes we work so hard and for what? Lately I feel I am in a 10 foot hole with no way to get out. The walls aren't close enough for me to stretch my legs and climb out. I have no way to pull myself out. But its a hole I have dug for myself. With each successful thing I end up falling back down a little more battered and bruised then I was before. And the higher I climb the harder I fall. Well I am tired of being in that damn hole it's dark, depressing, cold and lonely.
Mother Theresa said, "I know God only gives us what He knows we can handle....sometimes I just wish He didn't think as highly of me as He does." Somedays I feel just like Mother Theresa. I know without a doubt that I am great. God gave me gifts and talents unlike any other. I am still searching for all of my talents but I know that I have a power within me. I also know Satan hates it. This accident with Karsen is the HARDEST thing I have ever endured and trust me I've been to hell and back a couple times.
I know I should count my blessings and I do and I should focus on the positive and I do the best I can. But lately I feel as though I have been stripped of all happy thoughts all positive moments. I focus on whats going right in our lives just to be awakened with yet another heartache.
Karsen is due for another surgery and we have been talking to different doctors and been offered options here and there. The hard part is what is the right option. I want the best for Karsen not because I am spoiled and think that but because he deserves it. I hate feeling I have robbed him of so many things but I feel as though it is my job to provide everything for him. That lately has been hard to do because the "best" cost money and time of which I don't have much of either. I get so bogged down with things that I can't think clearly and it makes me want to hide until I find the answer. We were talking with a Dr. in Florida about seeing Karsen he is one of the best but I am feeling ok with not taking Karsen there. The hard part is the money was the main thing that stopped me and there are plenty of amazing doctors here too. We have the bubble surgery scheduled on the 17th but want to postpone it till the first week in April. I wanted to postpone it because of our annual family vacation and only one for a while to Vegas for the Monster Trucks (I know redneck). I know it may not be the best plan to go in our situation but my kids love it and its already paid for. (Rick and I enjoy it too I am looking forward to a break and some sunshine). I wanted to wait on the surgery so that Karsen can use his prosthesis and get around as normal as possible (not a fan of spectators). But now his leg hurts his prosthesis doesn't fit so there goes that idea. I feel stuck, know what do we do. I had made an appointment to see Dr. Paley in Florida but decided to cancel and stick somewhat with the plan we have. Although I really want to work with the Dr in New York. His prosthetic ideas for Karsen make me feel confident in a chance for more normalcy for him as well as greater progression.
The little things really do hurt the most. When I put Karsen in his transformer leg and he can't wear it for more then 20 minutes really sucks. He wants to run! I hate thinking negatively about the summer and don't want to see him on the sidelines playing his stupid DS while the other kids are running around playing. This surgery will set us back for a while and that's what is frustrating. Do I go get a new leg made just to have to make a new one when he's all healed or do I do the surgery and start the healing process despite upcoming events. On top of all of it my amazingly hard working husband Rick has not had a lot of work (it's feast or famine in this business) but has the opportunity of doing a Walmart come April. Great work for him and great pay (help catch us up and get ahead) but sucks to have him gone for 2 months 5 states away. (Trust me I have gained a huge amount of respect for single mothers through these Walmart adventures). Its hard not to be selfish and feel bad that I get left with all the responsibilities. As well as a recovering little guy that depends on me more then most 3 year olds do. Hate to be honest but I feel that is all my fault. I also feel guilty for not working harder myself. I have an amazing opportunity in the palm of my hands and what do I do I play with it not use it more to my families benefit.
I thought I had worked through this I have seen an amazing Life coach and counselor Nadeen and after almost 3 hours or reliving the most painful experience going through every detail and every emotion I felt so much better. I looked at Karsen without blame or guilt right after. Then the damn insurance company sent us a paper basically wondering "who can we blame it on?". Again I know it's not my fault but to write on a paper that they can't blame it on anything or anyone but ME and I'm on the insurance (sorry you have to pay for it) the visions and guilt came flooding back. Since then I've struggled staying in a happy place especially when I feel like everything around me is falling apart. No work for Rick, Karsen's in pain, kids getting sick, my setbacks in my business, my grandma's struggle with cancer (she's one of my most favorite people in the world) and many others.
I want to be the best wife, best mother, best friend, best sister, best daughter/granddaughter, best consultant and best director I know I can be but each area I am struggling. I know that the true test of a woman's character is what it takes to stop her. Well I'm not stopping I may peddle backwards a little or move slowly forward but I will persevere. MY FAMILY DESERVES IT!!
Sorry for being such a whiner I plan to be a WINNER I just need to shake it off and step up. We don't learn from our successes we learn from our failures. All of my kids have taught me so much but the main thing is without all the wonderful material things in life we have each other. We have love, life and so much more to live for.
To all my FB friends thank you for your kind words and tidbits of advice. It helps to know I am loved and supported. I don't usually voice the days that I struggle the most. The days I truly regret the decisions I made that day. I've made a lot of bad choices but don't regret many of them because of the lessons I've learned. I know everything happens for the reason and one day (hopefully sooner then later) I will understand what this is all about. Why this happened and for what reasons. I will know what God's plan for me is. Thanks to everyone that has supported our family. I don't know what I'd do without you. Karsen and I as well as the rest of my family are so much stronger because of the prayers, thoughts, letters, visits, donations and kindness from everyone. I am deeply humbled and full of gratitude to all!!

I will keep you posted on the decisions and progression we make. Still looking for some answers so wish me luck!!

Karsen's due for another Surgery...

2010-01-18T18:15:00.000-08:00

Karsen is due for another surgery on St. Patricks day. His Plastic Surgeon is going to go in and remove the Skin Graft and stretch his good skin over and close it so it will all be his smooth skin. If you can't tell Karsen's graft is pretty much attached to his bone. So when he wears his prosthetic it rubs wrong and causes scabbing which makes him uncomfortable. It also makes it hard to put on his transformer leg because he needs it to heal.

When they do the surgery they are going to put in a bubble. Two weeks after the surgery they will go in and slowly fill it will water once a week for 4 weeks. The bubble will help keep the skin from attaching to the bone. After that they will remove the bubble and **fingers crossed** it will look so much better and be able to handle longer wear on his prosthetic. I'm looking forward to that!!

On a more fun note. Karsen is CRAZY and is not afraid of much. Today he started trying to climb the fridge with his feet then the counter then the door. He succeeded after we moved some stuff out of the way and Voila' he is doing handstands up against the door. Love my monkey!!

There is hope...

2010-01-03T18:57:00.000-08:00

Tonight we received this letter and decorated can from these two young adults. They dropped it on our door step and rang the doorbell and left. (How I would love to meet them!!) This kind of service and generosity is not something we would have expected from 16 year olds but here it is. These two have really done more then donated their birthday money to Karsen but they have truly given me hope as a mother. I have so many fears as a mother in these times and these two have give me hope that my children too can prevail through the muck this world is. We are so grateful and hope that Nicole & Jaden do know how truly inspiring they have been. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!

2009-12-23T18:01:00.000-08:00

Update and Much Gratitude!

2009-12-23T17:01:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to update everyone on Karsen. Today we went and saw his Prosthetics Dr. Pete and his Ortho Dr. Marci and they like how he is healing and moving around. We are all concerned with where the Skin Graft is on the back side of his leg. The skin is not very flexible and looks as though it is stuck to the bone. The "sock" we put on before his Transformer prosthetic leg is silicone and is meant to to help his leg heal. When we put him in his leg for too long it rubs wrong and breaks the skin down creating scabbing. Marci told us to take him into his Plastic Surgeon Dr. Faizi and have him look at it. We most likely will end up doing a surgery to help loosen up the skin. We are scheduled to go in on January 12th so we will see what happens. I am happy to report we no longer need Scooby!! It is too big and he is getting around just great without it. He's actually quite the monkey.

I also took Karsen into his Pediatrician and ENT to have his 3 year old check up and his ear tube check up. Karsen had tubes put in his ears in December of 2007 and last February he had to have one replaced and the other unclogged. He gets ear infections and congested so often he really doesn't complain it's almost normal. I had both of these appointments set up right around the time of the accident and had to obviously hold off. Anyhow at his 3 yr check up our Pediatrician had told me that the right tube had fallen out and to keep an eye on him. Low and behold a week or two later he woke up in the middle of the night very uncomfortable we didn't know if it was his leg or his ear until the next morning. We took him in and the doc said he had a RAGING ear infection. We got him on antibiotics and I asked if we needed surgery to please do it before the end of the year and so we are on January 31st. Squeezing it in before deductibles start all over. He's amazing he will have had more surgeries then all of us combined poor dude!

On a much more HAPPIER & HUMBLER note I want to express our GRATITUDE to EVERYONE!! We have seen so many blessings and miracles in our time of trial and I feel like I can't express enough to everyone how incredibly thankful we are. We have had so many of you pray for us, donate money, donate time, donate food, and now donate several Christmas gifts for our family. I am overwhelmed with how Thankful I am and feel bad that I don't know how to show everyone how I feel. I love all of you and want you to know that the prayers, kind words, cards, concern, donations of all kinds, help with the kids, help with our home and absolutely everything has not gone unnoticed in anyway shape or form. Please let us know how we can return the favor and pay it forward.

Much LOVE, RESPECT, GRATITUDE & BELIEF,

Nicole

Update on My baby!

2009-12-07T19:53:00.001-08:00

So I haven't updated lately we have all been so busy just trying to get things done.
I wanted to give you an update on Karsen. We got his prosthetic "Transformer" leg and had him in it twice a day for about 20 minutes each. We worried a little because his leg was healing and is bone was right up against the skin graft nearly poking through. We went in for a check up and was told to watch him close. It started looking better and they upped his time in his leg. We are now up to 2-4 hours a day.
I put his leg on today and then took him out and about and it was so nice to have him up and moving around. ALMOST normal. He struggled here and there but I took him out to take the girls to gymnastics and Jaxon to try Karate. While we were there he was very brave and walked everywhere. He even walked through the parking lot. Then we went in to watch the girls finish up and when we were leaving he wanted to run to the car like Jaxon and Larsen so I took his hand and we tried it. WOW he's so awesome he made it to the car and climbed in like he used to.
I am so excited to see him do new things. Like try to stand on one leg and hop or walk using his Scooby leg. I am hoping to re-potty train him soon very soon!!
Anyway that is what he is up to these days.

On another note...
Many people have asked how I am doing and to be honest I struggle. Some days are fine and some moments royally suck. I am truly inspired by his progress and absolutely love his perseverance. He makes me want to do more, work harder and be the best woman I can be.
My biggest struggle is the constant reminder. Had both his legs broken they would be healed by now but no everyday I am reminded of the horrible accident. I try my hardest not to see his screaming face or his leg all torn up or the hard moments but it is there. I am doing many things that help me through it. The mind is a powerful tool. I usually take the negative thought and think of the positive or just try to change my mind quickly. I work out almost everyday I have found it to be helping me a ton. Lifting weights relieves stress. I have also picked up more in my Mary Kay business. I have learned a lot of attitude and emotional management in my business and I didn't think that it would help me so much with a life situation. I absolutely love what I do. I love being a beauty consultant and help women all around me feel better about themselves and the amazing women I work with on my team and in my unit. I love helping change lives.

Between Karsen's amazing abilities, the strength of my beautiful children, my workout regime and my Mary Kay business things are getting better. I am of course only human so I know each day comes with its trials and it is up to me to decide how I will react.

Thank you to all of you who have helped us out I am at a loss for how to show my gratitude.
Just Recently...
My Aunt Peggy I love you. She sold over 400 loaves of her homemade wheat bread to raise over $600 for Karsen's trust fund. WOW!! Thank you so much and to everyone that supported her and our family. I had no idea she was doing it.

My dear friend and sister Director Jolinn Andrease and her Awesome family did a VERY SCARY Haunted House in their basement and raised over $1200 to go to Karsen's Trust Fund. Unbelievable Jolinn you are amazing and I value our friendship ever so much.

One of my favorite MK Mentors National Sales Director Julianne Nagel Hackett had a very powerful Fall retreat with the consultants and Directors in her area. She had asked me to come and speak at her retreat about the will to win. I spoke of Karsen's unfortunate event but the many things we have done to push through it and have the will to win. Their area too raised over $1000 to go to Karsen's trust fund. She personally had been donating 5% of her Party with a purpose sales just for Karsen. Julianne you are simple outstanding and I love you so much for training me in my younger MK years. I will POP with Pride!! Thank you too all over those that held a Party with a purpose you have truly touched our lives.

We have felt so overwhelming blessed and loved from so many giving people. All of you out their THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! Your continued blessings, prayers, love and donations have done so much in Karsen's speedy recovery and will allow us the best care for him.

Much Love & Gratitude,

Nicole

Karsen's Extraordinary Determination!!

2009-11-19T21:00:00.000-08:00

So I haven't reported much since we've been home. But since we got Karsen's new Transformer leg he has slowly gotten used to it. He is nervous and scared but today he broke belief barriers for all of us. He is simply amazing and we can't believe how determined he is. He faces his fears and does it anyway.

Karsen's 1st steps on his Transformer Leg!!

2009-11-19T20:47:00.000-08:00

5K Video FINALLY!

2009-11-11T12:28:00.000-08:00

Ok so there were so many pics I couldn't even put them all on here so I did a little video. So it's not too little it's like 12 or 13 minutes so enjoy!!

RUN KARSEN RUN 5K

2009-10-25T12:53:00.000-07:00

The 5K for Karsen was UNBELIEVABLE!! We guesstimated that 300-350 people were there and we raised over $6000. Rick and I were literally blown away to see family, old and new friends, people we work with and complete strangers. We had a great time thank you to Jason and Cindy Jacobson for coordinating everything to the 2nd ward for the breakfast it was all fantastic, Steve Crane and the donation of Fat Boys, Macey's for their donation of oranges and $100 gift certificate and Costco for the Water bottles and to Wasatch Running for the racing bibs and the giveaways. The shirts from Zues Printing were AWESOME loved them!! I am going to try and create a slide show I have tons of pictures. THANK YOU TO EVERYONE THAT CAME OUT TO SUPPORT MY LITTLE MAN KARSEN AND OUR FAMILY IT MEANS THE WORLD TO US!! LOTS OF LOVE!!

Shriner's Adventure Day 2 and what's up today!

2009-10-21T22:04:00.000-07:00

Ok so Tuesday morning I got up early to go run (gotta prep for the 5k and the gym is great therapy:) Got home hurried and got us all ready. Ran the girls to school and Jaxon to Aunt Chelsea's for preschool. We got up to Shriner's and went to prosthetic's. We met with Pete and he brought in Karsen's new Scooby Doo plastic sleeve. Karsen flipped out and no longer wanted it he wanted to keep his leg wrapped the way it was. After spending time trying to calm him down and getting him to cooperate we finally got it on. After he realized he was just fine and then loved it so we went to show Marci and she was so happy to see him and loved the new sleeve. The sleeve keeps his leg straight till we can actually get him a prosthetic leg. If he were to leave it bent it would ruin his chance of being able to where a prosthetic leg. He was super excited to show everyone his new leg.

After we left the hospital I went a different went home and ended up near my grandparents house so we went to see them. My grandpa had a meeting so my Grandma Norma, Karsen and I went to get a subway sandwich. It was really nice just us 3.
We got home and I attempted to nap while he laid with me talking to me a lot I gave him his meds when we got home cause he whined quite a bit and I wanted to help him. Hello VALIUM makes him happy and talkative but NOT tired.
I went to my Mary Kay meeting like I do every Tuesday and I got a text from Rick's facebook saying he was watching Karsen go up the stairs. I tried to tell him to hold him down I was on my way home but Karsen had even started without his knowledge. But dad videotaped it Thank Goodness!!
I got home and he was playing waiting for me to give him a bath. Marci wanted to have us give a bath today. The first real bath in 3 weeks woohoo!! Rick and I put him in and again doing something new with his leg unwrapped really stressed him out. He was uneasy for a bit but a few toys and realizing it wasn't going to hurt helped him relax. It was neat to see Jaxon interact with him. He was very cool while seeing his leg and the skin graft and everything. It's been great to see them play for a while they didn't get along. We got Karsen all cleaned up and now he is not so nervous.

We have shown the girls Karsen's leg and let them ask questions and I do my best to answer all of them. Except the details of the accident. I'm not a fan of talking about that with them. They know what they need to know. HE IS LITERALLY MY HERO. He is so strong and amazing. Very determined and very independent. I love my Karsen so much and couldn't be more proud of him and all of my kids for who they are and the love we have in our home.

ON a side note. Through all of this we just went to Parent Teacher Conferences for the girls and they are ROCKSTARS!! They both are way above grade level for reading and are doing great in every subject. Jazmine is doing so great in every area and even though she has missed a lot of school having strep 2 times. Kyliane is the big helper in her class she finishes her work and then helps her friends with theirs. Seriously makes me so happy to see how well they are doing even though they have been through this all with us. I have amazingly smart independent children. LOVE THEM!!

Shriner's adventure Day 1

2009-10-21T21:37:00.000-07:00

So last Saturday some friends of ours invited us to go out to dinner with them so we took up the offer and went to dinner. As we were sitting down I got a phone call that stressed me out a bit. My babysitter Raygan called and said "Nicole I was taking him to the bathroom and please don't be mad!" She was plainly scared and stressed out. So I tried understand her then she passed the phone over to my friend Ruth who she had called over to help her.
Basically Karsen had to go potty (#2) and Raygan put him on the potty but didn't take his pants off all of the way. He had gotten some poop on his pants and she went to pull them off well his splint had come off with it. SCARED HER TO DEATH!! Rightfully so I probably would've freaked out too. As I was talking to Ruth I could hear Karsen crying. Of course I was way freaked myself. I hurried and called the Dr's offices trying with 2 phones to get a hold of someone to tell me what to do. We were told when we left the hospital not to let him put pressure on his leg or rub it on anything so my main concern was that it had rubbed the skin graft. I finally got a hold of a plastic surgeon and he made me feel 1000 times better. He said the skin graft would be just fine since its been two weeks. He explained how to rewrap it so I called Ruth and Raygan and Becky (Rachel the friend I was out to dinner with had called her she lives like 3 houses down and is a nurse) I told them how to do it. They took great care of him he had talked to me and told me he was all better. The good news is that he wasn't really in pain just really freaked out. It was new to him.
Sunday came along and we were at Rick's Sisters for his mother's birthday dinner and his splint had slid down again past his knee. So Rick, Steve (my bro in law) and I went in the bedroom and rewrapped it again. He freaked out and wanted it back on again. I have to admit it was REALLY HARD to see it. I did all I could to keep myself together to get it taken care of. His swelling has gone down and so the splints that were molded around his leg no longer fit.
Monday morning I had taken him and Jaxon to Ruth's while I went with the girls to Harmony and when I picked him up it was sliding again. I brought him home and so I unwrapped it and started making phone calls.
Jaxon was the only one here with me I asked him to help me keep him distracted and he totally did as he stared at his leg he kept saying "Karsen watch Scooby Doo" he was such a big boy about it and handled seeing it very well. I got a hold of the doc's and they said take him to Shriners.
I took Jax back over to Ruth. So thankful for her!!
Karsen and I went up to Shriners where we were checked right in and taken back to the casting room. As we were hanging out I was distracting him because his splint was off. We read books, sang some songs and laughed. As we were hanging out his Plastic Surgeon walked in the room by chance. I was actually listening to a message from his office. He said let's take a look at it. Unwrapped it and said it looks great! I asked if he was sure and he said I know it looks terrible to you but it looks just fine to me. So that saved me the appointment on Thursday with him. Then Marci his Ortho doc came in and checked him out and took out his staples. She sent us to Prosthetics to be fitted for his plastic sleeve. His Camo Scooby Doo leg is what he calls it. Then we went down and resplinted it and then we were sent to Physical Therapy they were closed till 1 so we went and had lunch together. We headed up there and they gave him a walker and WOW is all I can say. He was amazing. Crawled off the bed he was on and walked across the room a little. He is so strong it was such a happy moment for both of us.
5 hours later with no stroller we were very ready to go home. We had done so much in one day I think we were both so exhausted. When we got home he was so excited to show Daddy, Jazmine, Kyliane and Jaxon how he could hop with his walker. They were so supportive and excited for him. It made me as a mother feel so proud to be their mother. I was so happy and full of joy to see them cheering him on.

5K Run/Walk & BREAKFAST!!

2009-10-21T10:42:00.000-07:00

Just got back from Shriners...

2009-10-20T10:48:00.000-07:00

.Karsen loves his new Scooby Doo leg. He freaked out for a bit but now he can't wait to show daddy, Jaz, Kyli & Jaxon.

Getting used to things....

2009-10-19T20:38:00.000-07:00

Nothing holds Karsen back!

Karsen gets his walker!

2009-10-19T13:01:00.000-07:00

Karsen has had a productive morning. We came up cuz his casting was coming off. Then his plastics doc gave us the ok. Then Marci our ortho doc (love her) took out the staples. Then Pete made him a plastic cast we will get tomorrow. Here he is with the PT for a walker. Long morning :) but we are great.

At home

2009-10-14T10:28:00.000-07:00

Ok so I feel bad I haven't updated you on my little mans progress so here I am. Wow coming back to life is a reality shock. Fortunately Rick has been home so he has helped tremendously. He makes a better housewife then I do. This has given me a chance to jump back into my Mary Kay business and get to work. I love that I get to work around my family. I have never been so grateful for that until now. I have an amazing team they are the "Rockstars" and they have blown me out of the water from their hard work and perseverance. I also have found that I am grateful for working when I am strong to build a cliental and unit so that if and when an accident or illness occurs I can take as much time off as I need with wonderful women to help pick up where I can not. Thank you Krista Johnson my senior director for all that you do for me! The only unfortunate thing is Rick not working makes it a lot harder around here financially. If he's not working he's not making any money. Gotta love construction :)
Anyway on to what is going on. We got home on Thursday. On our way home we picked up Jaxon from preschool and he was so excited to see Karsen in the car. Even told him he loved him. Then Jazmine had called and said she wasn't feeling well so I figured what the heck I'll go pull the girls out of school and they were so excited to see Karsen when they got home it was awesome.
The kids have adjusted well and have been great helpers. Jaxon's been given the job to be our monitor and tell us if Karsen wakes up. After a few days he didn't like that job so much. He would come tell us Karsen was awake and then climb in our bed as one of us would go take care of Karsen. He's been playing and helping Kars as well as fighting with him like normal. Gotta love boys.
Jazmine and Kyli have been great big sisters and have helped out by doing activities with him and hanging out with him. They are awesome.
We have been just plugging along. Our daily care for Karsen isn't too bad. We have to unwrap and rewrap his donor site leg. We also blowdry his bandage a little to help it dry out faster. We don't have to do anything with his left leg. We go in on Thursday the 22nd to see his plastic surgeon and his ortho surgeon.
Today he has tried to get himself around a little. His buddy Bronson Dixon came over to play and I put Karsen on the floor to play cars with him. I heard him over by the stairs playing with some monster trucks on the bottom step. He is definitely a find a way make a way type of kid.
His pain has been pretty mild and has been really good for the most part. He is sleeping well through the night and loves snuggling in the morning.
Thank you again for all your love, prayers and support without them all I don't know where we would be. I will continue to keep updating on the progress of his speedy recovery!

CHILI's DAY!! and a few other things

2009-10-12T07:57:00.001-07:00

Today is the Chili's Fundraiser for Karsen. I have a wonderful friend Joy Zoellner. She works at Chili's and will be there all day. If you need a flyer she has extra's so please ask for her. Thank you to all of you who are planning on going. We appreciate the support and love you all. You have no idea how grateful Rick and I are for everything you all have done for our Family.

Our family will be there at 6pm to enjoy dinner as well.

Also my great friend Melony Pulley is hosting a Lia Sophia/Glitter Toes/Mary Kay Open House

Date:	Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Time:	6:30pm - 9:00pm
Location:	Melony's Home
Street:	4717 Aire Drive

This is a fun filled evening that will benefit The Karsen Mery Trust Fund! Amy Blair has signed on to offer $20.00 glitter toes that evening and donate proceeds to the Trust as well! Check her out on nailartbyamyblair.blogspot.com usually they are $25 but for this fundraiser she'll do them for $20 and donate to our cause! Also I am a sales director for Mary Kay and will be on hand to provide color makeovers and any products you might have. This will all help support Karsens health as he grows and help support the family as their ability to work is deeply reduced in dealing with this!

Thanks again for the love and support!! Hope to see you tonight.

Ah, Home sweet home....

2009-10-08T17:21:00.001-07:00

Now, this is where I belong!

A picture says a thousand words.....

2009-10-08T09:55:00.001-07:00

GOING HOME!!!!!!!

HE GETS TO COME HOME!!

2009-10-07T18:54:00.000-07:00

Karsen just finished his last procedure. They removed the wound vac and his graft looks awesome. He is healing great and it is doing what it needs to do. They redressed his donor site (they said that will hurt a little) and it is healing good as well. He's such a champ. Get to rest tonight and go home in the morning. 2 weeks exactly from his accident. Thank you again for all the love, support, messages, prayers, gifts and donations. I know that Heavenly Father has heard you all and has blessed my baby and our family beyond measures.
Love & Belief, Nicole

Day 14...

2009-10-07T11:10:00.000-07:00

I am hangin out here with Karsen. He's playing playdoh and watching some cartoons. We are anxiously waiting for 5pm to come around. They plan to take him back to the OR to take the wound vac off of the Skin Graft and redress the graft donor site.

What's happened these last couple days...
Sunday we had my parents bring up Jazmine, Kyli and Jaxon. They are the other three kids we have for those of you that don't know much about your family. Jazmine is 8, Kyli is 6 and Jaxon is 4 (almost 5). We wanted them to come up and hang out with Karsen with no other kids around. We have some great friends and family that have been taking them while we have been up here. Everytime they come up they have their cousins or friends so they don't get to sit and play with Karsen. We had them here till about 7 pm when we sent the girls home with Paige and Jaxon with Ruth and Jason.

Monday was a rough day Karsen wasn't feeling well all day and we have to keep him in his room unless we go on walks in the wagon. We did have a physical therapist come in and rush us into a wheelchair. Little did she know he is supposed to be in bed, in our lap or in the wagon. So yeah it didn't go well. Other then that he was tired and blah all day. He perked up when Grandma Debbi and Aunt Tali showed up with Stevie, Drew, Domi and Lexi. I decided to go home to be with the kids for the night. Since Karsen is really enjoying having his dad to himself I figured one of us needed to. I also do all of the finances for our businesses and when you ignore them for over a week especially at the change in months people tend to not be happy. So I went home to take care of that and payroll and whatnot. It was a good distraction.

Honestly I wasn't too excited to leave. I have been struggling with Karsen's rejection of me. He knows what happened and has said things that break my heart. We have had a good talk about how the whole thing was a huge accident and that I didn't know he was there. I couldn't handle him tell me I was mean for running him over anymore. I was a little upset but low and behold I received a phone call that helped me overcome my pity party. I love solving problems and helping others and that was exactly what I got to do with the phone call I received.

I got to the Dixon's and picked up the kids they weren't so sure why I was there. I told them I wanted to spend the night with them. We got home and they ran around like crazy kids and helped me sort laundry and got ready for bed. I have to say I have some dang good kids. We always go into the girls room at night to say our family prayer so I took them in there and talked with them. I was able to explain more of what was going on and why. Jazmine asked several questions about the actual accident basically details and visuals I don't really want anyone to have especially my 8 year old. We had a great talk and cried a little together. They love their baby brother and want him home as well as mom and dad. On a side note my husband Rick just completed a Walmart Remodel in Idaho Falls and the Thursday this all happened was the first time he was home in 12 weeks to help me with the lawn. THANK GOODNESS I WASN'T ALONE. I usually do the lawn all on my own on Thursday mornings. So the kids have already been missing him.

We got to sleep and the kids slept well. I stayed up and finished some paper work went through my mail and did some of the things you do when you have been gone for a while. I also enjoyed one of my guilty pleasures and watched a TV show I had DVR'd. I knew if I exhausted myself I'd sleep. My doctor gave me Xanax but I am trying to maintain on my own. I have been able to sleep in the hospital so I figured I'd be ok. I went to bed late and only had it come into my mind once before I passed out.

We got up and did our morning thing. Got the kids to school. Got to hang out with Jaxon. Got a good workout in at the gym (I so needed it). I brought Jaxon back up to the hospital to hang out. He was kinda in a grumpy mood but was able to share and play with Karsen. Dad and Kars had a good nights sleep and were in pleasant moods when we got here.

Last night was dad's turn to go home with the kids. He rounded them up and had a good night for the most part. Unfortunately Jaxon woke up with a fever and feeling bad. He had a sore throat. Since Jazmine is just getting over strep Rick called and got Jax into the doctors. Low and behold he has strep. YEEHAW!! Why not one more thing seriously.

Karsen wasn't feeling well so I bribed him to eat his yummi chicken roll-up and we would go for a walk. Well after 9pm around here its dead no one is really in the halls. So we went for a walk and came back we ended up on the opposite hall from ours and I told him to hold on so we could go fast. Grandma Diane started it she let him drive while she was here. So anyway we ran up and down the halls and creeping around and trying to be sneaky. lol with a wagon that is loud yeah right. Thank goodness the nurses thought we were funny and once my thighs were burning the ride was over. It was fun to listen to him giggle and laugh.

So today we are hanging out waiting for 5pm to roll around so he can go in and have his skin graft checked to make sure it is taking and the donor leg be redressed. Praying we can go home tomorrow.

Give Back to Karsen Day at Chili's

2009-10-07T11:00:00.000-07:00

Here is the flyer for the Chili's day. You have to have a copy of this to have it count and you can go anytime from 11am to 11pm. It does have to be at the Riverton location. Thanks again for the support. Thank you Joy Zoellner and Tammy Ballard for setting this up. And THANK YOU CHILI'S!!

Karsen is doing good today. He's getting antsy but a sweetheart though.

2009-10-06T14:30:00.000-07:00

Candace finished the St George Marathon AND qualifies for Boston Marathon with Karsen as her Movtivation....

2009-10-05T10:56:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to post an update on how the marathon went today. First off, I had several of my friends tell me they would donate money to the Trust... though I can't tell how much they did donate, I hope it helped a bit.

I ran today with Karsen's photo and "Running for Karsen" on my back

and then I also had his picture on my pace band on my wrist so I would have a constant reminder of him while I was running. I was pushing myself hard during this race, and there were times my legs were shaking, times my calves were cramping up on me, and times when I honestly thought I wouldn't make

it another mile without throwing up, but during each of those really hard moments I looked down at Karsen's sweet smiling face and was reminded of his and his family's struggle and my pain decreased dramatically upon remembering that. He kept me running through the hard times and made me appreciate the good times.

I am happy to report that I finished the race in 3 hours 32 minutes and 33 seconds. Smashing my old personal record by over 17 minutes and finally reaching a goal that I've been aspiring to for years... running a fast enough race to qualify for the Boston Marathon. My heartfelt thanks goes out to this little boy and this family I've never met for giving me the extra push that I needed. I only hope that I can help them as much as they helped me.

Give Karsen a hug for me. I hope I get to meet him someday. Perhaps he'll be well enough by the Run Karsen Run race that he can make an appearance and I can give him my thanks in person.

Thanks again and lots of prayers and good thoughts for Karsen's recovery after the graft yesterday. =)

-Candace

2009-10-05T06:31:00.000-07:00

Karsen with just a couple stickers on his head. They were from his buddy Trevor.

Karsen playing Mario Kart on DS with a face mask on. He loves those things. He's so funny.

Kyli feeding Karsen a protein drink through a syringe.

Today's been great!

2009-10-03T20:36:00.000-07:00

Today has been a great day. Karsen slept all night and woke up in a decent mood. He was even woken up a couple times, once to change his bedding since it was covered in blood from the graft site. We all got some sleep thank goodness. Grandma Diane and Grandpa Bob came up again and played with him made him laugh and giggle it was a sweet sweet sound. It's been a few days. My mom and my aunt Susan wanted me to go with them to go shopping with my Grandma for her birthday so I bucked up and did. I went after they finished Karsen's blood transfusion he was a little low so they had to perk him up. It made him feel better and was much more lively. That and the vallum made him a happy kid. Did you know a hospital bed can almost fold you completely in half? Even if Dad is sitting in it with you. When I left both dad and Karsen were happy and smiling.

We went and picked up my Grandma and made a quick stop at a baby shower I was invited to. I think they were a little shocked to see me there but it was awesome to see some old friends. We then went to Kohl's and Target. It is so weird the further I got from the hospital the yuckier I felt. I just kept breathing and telling myself I was ok. I only called Rick two times and text him for just a little bit. I was happy to hear Karsen slept most of the time. Tali and Steve came to keep Rick company I was glad. Then Shad and his girls came by.

I made it back safe and sound and Karsen was alright a little uncomfortable. I brought some Arby's back and Karsen chowed down on a roast beef sandwich. Carl, Tamara & Steven Thompson were here visiting. They had been to a Car Show where Carl had a banner on his windshield for Karsen. Thanks to Office Depot I believe had made it for free. The Thompson's have truly helped so much. They own TLC which is a cleaning business and were in my home the night of the accident scrubbing away. They offered to help us out so we can work hard at keeping the germs out while Karsen is home recovering. They are amazing and I would recommend them to anyone.

Then my friend Amy and her hubby Troy came up. They so graciously brought up my Nintendo DS and had gotten Mario Kart for Karsen. He played it in the playroom and loved it and since he is on bed rest they were happy to get it for him. He has been so awesome playing with it. I think Rick has played it more and it has become a battle. I will have to see if one of the girls will bring dad one to play. lol

Grandma Debbi came up and hung out with Karsen. He loves his Grandma's so much. Gave Rick and I a chance to go for a walk and get some yogurt. Now we are hanging out playing and watching a movie. Today has been a great day for my baby considering his situation.

Day 9...

2009-10-02T21:15:00.000-07:00

Last night we keep Karsen up till what we were hoping midnight to get him food and water before he was cut off. His skin graft surgery was scheduled for 5:45pm today. Yeah 18 hours no food. We were a bit peeved. Considering we had been trying to feed him all day. He finally fell asleep around 2:30 am. Vallum and Karsen are a bad mix he's completely relaxed but just talks a lot. It's cute but not at 2 in the morning. We gave him his meds and he feel asleep. Then around 5am he woke up completely freaking out. Not sure if he was having a terrible nightmare or was in pain. It had been plenty of time so we gave him his meds again and he went to sleep. At 7:30am the Plastic Surgeons assistant came in and told us we were still planning on 5:45pm I was annoyed as any mother would be since I knew that meant starving him all day. They called and told us we had till 9 to feed him. This was at 8. We told them to get his meds ready and we tried to wake him up. FYI you don't try to wake Karsen up anyway let alone when he is in a hospital bed in pain. He again was freaking out. They finally came in at 8:45 and gave him his medication. Wahoo we had 15 min to calm him down and make him eat. SERIOUSLY!! 9:15 rolled around and Rick and I were still trying to get him to eat his pudding. NO GO! So finally they came in and said ok no more food or water. We gave him 2 last chances and he didn't budge so we threw it away. I know terrible of me but I'd rather him not choke on his vomit during surgery. Of course he wanted it but was fine once we distracted him.

Karsen had a bit of a bad day. He was uncomfortable and never once asked for food. I think he honestly knew what was up. We tried to get him up and moving but he really wasn't having it. His Aunt Chelsea and Uncle Tracy came up with their kids to play so we went to the play room. Then Aunt Tali and Uncle Steve came up with their kids and Kyli and Jaxon. Jazmine went to Lagoon with her friend Jaina. We tried to play but Karsen was in pain. Why you might ask because before we came down the nurse went to give him a dose of morphine and apparently some of it squirted out and didn't go in. Rick was worried he didn't get any well he was right. We got him some and he mellowed right out. Everyone had left to go do stuff and my Grandma Norma and Grandpa Robert came up to visit. Then Aunt Ruth ok well she's not his aunt more like his second mom came up with some fun gloves with bells on them. He was excited and played with them a bit. They came in at 5 and said they were ready. We hurried and gave him a blessing which my grandfather performed it was very nice. We took him back and he feel asleep in Rick's arms and we finally met the surgeon.

They ended up having him in surgery for almost 2 hours. They took the skin graft from his right leg on his upper thigh. They needed 112 square centimeters the left leg couldn't handle that much. They finally brought him back to our room at nine. Where both Grandma Diane and Grandma Debbi were anxiously waiting as well as Grandpa Bob, Aunt Susan and Uncle Casey. Of course Rick and I were getting very antsy. He is back and is sleeping now. The next few days will be rough with recovery. We will be here until Wednesday. On Wednesday they will take him back to the OR to remove the wound vac from his left leg and the dressing from his right leg. It's much easier if he is out and a lot less painful.

I just want to express our gratitude to everyone that has helped with the kids. Jazmine has loved having sleepovers "on a school night" and Jaxon is just loving having "lots and lots of sleepovers". Kyli has had a little bit of a hard time leaving but always enjoys where she goes. So thank you for providing a safe haven for them to go to as we are going through all of this. I love you all and will keep you updated on Karsen's progress.

It's been a week exactly

2009-10-01T21:38:00.000-07:00

Last night was a little rough but we did ok and had no fever thank goodness. As I was laying here last night I had a slight meltdown and was glad Rick was here to comfort me. I am struggling with Karsen's rejection of me. He mostly wants his dad. Which given Rick is gone often I don't blame him since he has him here. But it is hard since he understands why we are here and what happened. I won't go into that. After sending my kids off yet again with Kyli upset I laid here thinking about how I do have four kids and they all need me. I was throwing a bit of a pity party about Karsen always wanting Rick and I figured maybe I was better off going to be with the other 3. I felt impressed that I need to go get them and spend time with them maybe even just stay home and sleep with them. So I got it worked out to have Grandma Debbi come up and sit with Karsen while we went to my brother Tracy's home to pick the kids up and surprise them. We told them we were taking them to lunch they were hungry and excited. Aunt Chelsea was putting them off as long as she could. They wanted to go to Wendy's and Rick and I wanted something else so we talked them into Chili's. We went and had lunch it was yummi and fun and Iwas proud of them for eating.Not that you are too concerned with my feelings but I was glad to have them with us to spend time with them talking and laughing. All the while Rick and I were both nervous about going home. I was nervous I would completely lose it and Rick was probably worried about the same thing. We finished up lunch and headed for home. I felt my heart start to race as we got closer. I was again giving myself a peptalk. We pulled up to see the beautiful sign across our window that says "WE LOVE YOU" with many messages of love on it. We also had new plants, trees and flowers in our garden area that we just curbed. When we got there Tamara and Carl were there cleaning and still painting. They own TLC (cleaning business) and are Amazing. They clean better then the pros. They live across the street from us. Tamara came out and gave me a hug and I did all I could to keep my composure. I silently cried to myself just overwhelmed with all the love. We went into the house and saw the walls painted that desperately needed them. The house was clean. Then the kids took me down in the basement and I was happy to see that the playroom was painted and found Carl in the bathroom working on the sink. Mom will be excited about that. Our basement is almost finished but we haven't gotten it all done just already bought most of the stuff for the most part to do so. Carl gave me a big hug and it was a little harder to keep myself together. (Carl and I go way back and have a love/hate relationship ask him he'll agree lol).
I had to get some work done on a secure internet. THANKS TO MY AMAZING ROCKSTAR UNIT WE HIT $5000. As I was talking to Mary Kay corporate clearing some stuff up they reminded me of the $50 (half off) Starter Kit promotion going on in October. What an amazing promotion!! I can't tell you how Grateful I am to Mary Kay Ash for pressing forward with her dream so that I can I have an opportunity to help women feel good about themselves, reach their goals, help their families and become something more. All the while I can help provide for my own family Even if I am sitting in a hospital with my child. I can work from anywhere. Flexibility is key and will be necessary for sure now. As if it isn't with 4 kids and a hubby with his own business working harder then any body else. With all the love and support I have received from my MK sisters I am grateful for the company philosophy of Faith first, Family second, Career third. I love you all and thanks for everything. BTW to all my clients reading this I know you just received your Look books please feel free to place your orders *don't go anywhere else. My awesome Assistant Carole is taking care of my orders and all of you till I can get in there and do it. I have all the new stuff already. Thanks Carole!! And thank you all for helping me reach my own goals and helping support my family.

I then I went to get the rest of our stuff ready and Karsen called me crying because he was hurting. I told him I would be there soon and to be brave for me. It was hard to know I was so far away but I knew he was with Grandma so I knew he'd be fine. I hustled the kids to get there stuff together. I asked them if they wanted me to stay with them or go to Aunt Tali's they chose Tali's so I felt good about that. Unfortunately I had to leave another sick kid behind. Jaxon has a cough and wasn't feeling too hot so we dropped him off at Tali's and headed up. Stopped at 2 stores looking for Monsters vs. Aliens (never found it) and then got a call from Debbi this time. Karsen was freaking out and my heart just started racing. I felt like we couldn't get there fast enough. Downtown at 5 um good idea. About 10 minutes later Karsen called me to tell me he was done crying and was happy to see us soon. We got up here and he was happy in Grandma's lap.

Rick, Jazmine, Kyli and I went to the playroom where we played with the play food and painted birdhouses. They had fun and Karsen ended up getting a well needed sponge bath when we got back. He wasn't happy about it but needed it.

Aunt Tali brought up some delicious soup and we all hung out and played. Karsen got a chance to play Dominic's DS that made him happy. I am a nerd and keep thinking to bring mine up for him. Oh well they have like 3 game systems right out our door.

Now we are loading him up with fattening food and keep him up as late as we can since his skin graft surgery is scheduled for 5:45pm friday and he can't eat after midnight tonight. UGH!! Thank goodness for pudding and fruit snacks. Dinner of champs.

We want to Thank everyone for all their love and support. Sorry to bore you with my emotions but it feels good to get them out a little. Love & Belief

Nicole says...

2009-10-01T15:10:00.001-07:00

I am at home for the first time in a week and I haven't had a panic attack yet. We enjoyed lunch at Chili's and came home to take care of a few things. I WANT TO THANK EVERYONE THAT HAS PARTICIPATED IN PAINTING, GARDENING, CLEANING, EVERYTHING!! WE CAN NOT EXPRESS OUR GRATITUDE FOR EVERYONE. YOU SIMPLY AMAZE ME! THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONTINUED LOVE AND SUPPORT!!

Today's Operation

2009-09-30T21:05:00.000-07:00

So today was supposed to be another wound vac change. That is what is protecting his calf muscle and preparing it for skin. Well Karsen was running a fever from about 5pm till today. Karsen's Ortho doc was concerned it was an infection in his leg so she wanted to do the change in the OR so that she could clean it out right there if it needed it. He ended up going into surgery at 3:30 and I knew it was going to be fast and smooth I was worried there would be an infection. I also had a hard time because as they wheeled him away he cried for momma over and over. Saddest thing I ever heard I told him he was ok and I loved him and would see him after his nap. I then turned around an broke down. I pulled myself together to go get some food we went down to the cafeteria and nothing sounded good.

Early that day I received a phone call from Jared the guy that Kim Cowdell set up to come pick up my car and have it detailed. Mind you I have not been in the car since we got here. Rick had and said it was getting pretty stinky. Well Kim, Krista Johnson and the rest of my Mary Kay sisters set up for this wonderful guy to come pick up my car and take care of it. He had called this morning to tell me it was in the parking lot ready for me. I told Rick I am starving we have 30 minutes lets go to 400 S. everything is there. So we went to the car and this guy is AMAZING no signs of the blood or any smell. I was so grateful that I wouldn't have to see it again. THANK YOU TO ALL MY MARY KAY SISTERS YOU MEAN THE WORLD TO ME!! We darted out of there and went to Subway. It was yummi...

We came back and as we were eating with Amber, Casey and Riley the Dr. came in and told us there was nothing to worry about and that it all looked great. I WAS SO HAPPY! As you could imagine. But it still didn't explain the fever. We have done lots of tests and really no explanation yet. But we did get him out playing and moving today and that helped him a lot. They told us it would so it pays to play. He is doing good now. I promised him fruit snacks when he woke up so he had 4 bags and 2 things of pudding and requested blue Gatorade. FYI there is none in this hospital so Ginger and Tammy were here and so graciously said we will run to 711 and get him some. He was happy and played playdoh for a little bit. He is now hanging out coloring in his coloring book and chillin' with dad watching a movie.

Thanks again for all the prayers. I know without a doubt Heavenly Father is listening. I asked my brother to help Rick give Karsen a blessing this morning and I am so grateful for the Priesthood in my family. I am so grateful for a wonderful Father in Heaven that is blessing us beyond belief in this time of need.

Anyhow

Our little hero....

2009-09-30T17:06:00.000-07:00

Passing time.....

Rick updates us...

2009-09-30T15:32:00.001-07:00

Karsen is out. All went well. No infection in the leg. They still can't pinpoint the cause of his fever. Next step, skin grafts friday afternoon.

Nicole says,

2009-09-30T14:24:00.000-07:00

I just sent my baby back in for surgery again and listened to him cry for momma all the way down the hall. It breaks my heart but I know he's in good hands. We are dashing to get food. Thanks to my MK girlfriends, my car is clean with no trace of the blood. I'll keep ya posted when he gets out.

Another Surgery...

2009-09-30T07:46:00.000-07:00

Karsen has been running a fever since yesterday. They have been giving him Tylenol to help bring it down but it goes right back up. They think it might be an infection in his blood or in his leg. They did the blood culture and that can take 1-3 days to actually show anything. Our Ortho Surgeon just came in and told us instead of doing the wound vac change at 9:30 they are going to take him back to the OR at 2. That way if his leg is infected they can just clean it then and there. He hasn't been too uncomfortable just sleepy and lethargic. Please keep praying with me. I have seen so many blessings through the power of the Priesthood and prayer. Thank you all I love you!

Nicole says,

2009-09-29T19:38:00.000-07:00

"I want you to know how much I love you all for loving me & my beautiful family. Karsen has had a bit of a rough day & is a little feverish but he is ok. He's not in too much pain thanks to all his meds. I'm just not a fan of this situation & it looks like we won't be home till next week."

RUN KARSEN RUN Fundraiser event....

2009-09-29T14:00:00.000-07:00

Bring your bikes, roller blades, strollers, wagons,

running shoes, etc to the 5 K

RUN KARSEN RUN Fundraiser

This is a great opportunity to make a huge impact on Karsen's life

100% of the donations will go to Karsen Mery Recovery trust fund!

When: Oct 24th 8am

Where: 7982 S Grizzly Way, West Jordan, Ut

Why: To help Karsen!!

Unable to make it? You can still help by making a

donation via the link on the right!

Kickin Bootie for Karsen.....

2009-09-29T12:00:00.000-07:00

Candace Aaron, doesn't even know the Mery family. But her heart goes out to Karsen and what the family is facing these days. In support of Karsen, she's

KICKIN' Bootie for Karsen!

This Saturday, Candace Aaron is running the St George Marathon. In support of Karsen, she's donating money for every mile that she runs! She said, " Hopefully this will be helpful to them financially, and I know it will help me push through the painful miles at the end of the marathon. Lots of prayers and positive thoughts going out to their family!" She said she is going to get many of her friends and family to also donate for every mile that she runs. Anyone else like to join us and donate for every mile??? I'm sure it will help encourage Candice AND definitely help the Mery family! Post in the comments if you'd like to jump in!

We will be staying in touch with Candace and will post the results here on the blog.

Thanks Candace! Kick Bootie for Karsen!!

Here's details of the event:

St. George Marathon

Saturday, October 3rd, 2009 6:45 am

From Central, UT to St. George, UT

Distance: 26.2 miles (Perhaps everyone could donate $1 per mile) Every bit helps!

Tuesday Quick Update

2009-09-29T11:27:00.000-07:00

I thought I would just update you on Karsen's current condition. Yesterday the did a wound vac change. Rick & I were able to stay in the room and see his leg. We did snap a few pics but not sure we should put them up. He did great his skin and muscles are doing awesome. The wound team checked it and everything is still alive and well. They will do another vac change tomorrow as well. The wound vac is protecting the calf muscle and area that is exposed and is helping prepare the area for skin.

He is off the morphine and is currently on 4 medications. One is for pain, One for his spasms, another one for his nerve endings to help curb phantom pains and then his antibiotic.

He has his great moments and not so great moments. When he is feeling decent he is up playing and having a good time. He deals with the pain well for the most part and doesn't complain too much but will tell us when he hurts. While he doesn't complain much it is painful to see him hurt. It is heartbreaking at times. But he is very independent as you could see in the climbing on the bed pictures. It will be hard to keep him down while we need to.

He is getting used to cuddling with Dad and Mom and loves it. I think he is really enjoying the one on one time with Daddy.

Karsen is eating but not all that great he has actually enjoyed all the goodies people have brought us or the food we get for ourselves. He ate my sandwich yesterday even though I ordered him one. I was totally ok with it. He needs to eat!

We will be doing skin grafts on Friday and may possibly be going home that day or the next. We will see. I know he is excited to go home he's tried to escape with both Grandma's, Aunt Tali and Aunt Chelsea.

He is a huge inspiration to me and is so brave and strong. I absolutely love him and from the time he entered into our lives I knew he completed our beautiful family and is here to serve a huge purpose. He already has done so much for me and I love sharing him and the rest of my amazing family with all of you.

Thank you for all of the prayers. I have seen them all in work and know without a doubt that Heavenly Father is listening to all of us. Thank you from Rick and I we love you all!!

Koins for Karsen.....

2009-09-28T20:49:00.000-07:00

Koins for Karsen Event

This is something some of my Amazing Mary Kay Girlfriends have set up. Thanks Joy and Tammy. I love my MK Girls!!

Host:	Malaree Hobbs
Type:	Causes - Fundraiser
Network:	Global

Date:	Monday, October 12, 2009
Time:	4:00pm - 11:00pm
Location:	Chilis
Street:	3766w. 13400 s.
City/Town:	Riverton, UT
	View Map

Phone:	8018979503
Email:	malareehobbs@marykay.com

On September 24 my friends 3 year old son was involved in a traumatic accident involving a lawn mower. This sweet young boy ended up losing his foot and half of his leg. He is on a long and expensive road to recovery, looking at many more surgeries in the months to come.

PLEASE HELP US RAISE MONEY FOR THE KARSEN MERY FUND.

CHILI'S IS DONATING 10% OF ALL SALES MADE THAT NIGHT TO THE MERY FAMILY.

PLEASE COME AND HELP OUT THIS AMAZINGLY STRONG AND HAPPY YOUNG BOY
( DINE IN OR TAKE OUT)

Nicole and Rick celebrate the small steps....

2009-09-28T16:08:00.000-07:00

Nicole,

"I just watched Karsen climb out of his wagon onto his bed. My heart is so full of joy! Nothing's gonna hold my Ironman down."

Rick, "I just finished playing with Karsen. I got back to the room and told us he was going to get in bed by himself. So he did. He wouldn't let us touch him and he lifted himself up and got on his bed. Thanks everyone for the prayers and visits and support! I don't know where we'd b without all of you!!"

Oh the joys...

2009-09-28T11:00:00.000-07:00

So the day this all happened I put on my FB status that I was going to have a good day even if it killed me. I was grumpy, upset, stressed out and sore. I was overwhelmed with the yard work, messy house, keeping up with kids, my husband finding out there's not much work and worrying about working more myself. Well then this all happened. So yesterday we wake up and I am excited Rick and I both actually slept and Karsen slept all night. So again I put we are going to have a good day and well I have learned my lesson.

Karsen was much more fussy, whiny and frustrated so it made it a hard day dealing with him and still wishing as parents we could take it all from him.

Then my oldest Jazmine calls and complains about a lump in her throat so I call our medical center and have my mom take her in and woohoo she has strep. AGAIN!! So of course I feel torn that I can't be in two places to be there for both of my children. UGH!! I am so grateful to my mother for having the kids and being able to take her in and the great neighbors Ruth and Jason.

Then Rick's grandparents were on their way up to visit us (actually on Saturday) and ended up taking a much needed detour to the VA Hospital. His Grandpa Leon wasn't feeling well and it was a good thing that he went because he was having a heart attack. They have kept him there and have done stress tests. He has had another heart attack since he's been there. One of them killed the lower part of his heart and the other has done some other damage. He won't find out till tomorrow if another stint will help. Leon is a very important person in our families and

THEN... Sunday evening I wasn't feeling well. I promise I have been eating and drinking but not as much as I usually do. (I work out every morning and drink a lot of water during and after and then follow it up with a protein shake). Since I am completely off my groove and well when I need to be there for Karsen my brain isn't thinking about food. So I ended up feeling overwhelmingly nauseous and ended up throwing up. Several times. I would sleep in between episodes and well it got to the point I was using the restroom stood up to wash my hands and thought I was going to throw up again and ended up slowly going to the floor. I sat by the door giving myself a pep talk in reaching up to get the door handle. I finally got it and fell out the door and called out for Rick my husband. He jumped up and helped me up and asked if I was ok I knew I wasn't so he walked me over to the U of U hospital ER. They took me back and my blood pressure was around 78/36 and I ended up needing 3 bags of IV fluid. NO FUN!! I was worried about Karsen being alone and Rick being so tired and worn out. They released me around 7 we came back to Karsen cuddling with our awesome nurse. We all then passed out till about 8:30 when they started preparing us for his Wound Vac/dressing change. That's a whole other post.

We are all feeling better now. Karsen is good just dealing with the pain. I feel almost back to 100%.

Rick says....

2009-09-28T10:08:00.000-07:00

I just watched the docs change out Karsen's wound vac. I was honestly surprised at how much leg is still there and how good the wound looks. He's doing great for what he's been through. The nurse gave him a dose of Valium last night and he stayed up talking to me for another hour. Haha We'll have to take some of that home. ;)

It's raining, it's pouring, The Mery Family isn't snoring, unfortunately...

2009-09-28T06:20:00.000-07:00

Last night Nicole (mother) spent the night in U of U hostpital due to dehydration from throwing up all night. Rick's grandpa almost had a heart attack and Jasmine (Karsen's eldest sister) has strep throat. All this on top of Karsen's leg tradegy is making times extremely tough for the Mery family. Please continue to pray and fast for them! "When it rains it pours" is an understatement right now for this family. No sleep is happening currently for the Mery's. :( Thanks again for your support!

What's happening...

2009-09-26T22:21:00.000-07:00

Not sure you all want the play by play but this is my new journal for this adventure if you want to call it that.
After his first surgery where they cut off his bone and cleaned the area as best they could they wrapped it up nice and tight till his follow up surgery on saturday. He struggled waking up. He finally regained full consciousness around 2 am. I of course was awake. I couldn't even close my eyes for two seconds without seeing it all over again. We had a little chat and he said his toes hurt and I told him he didn't have any toes that he didn't have a foot. I showed him his leg. He said I want them back and I told him soon he could pick out a new one. He wanted to pick one out right now. I told him we would soon. I asked him if he knew what happened and he said yeah "you crushed me". Yes my heart broke when I heard that. I told him how sorry I was and asked if he would forgive me and he nodded his head. I then told him I loved him and he said I love you too mommy. It was a bitter sweet moment.
Shortly after that he wanted me to hold him and the nurses let me and that was the first time my heart and mind relaxed enough for me to sleep for about an hour.

Friday was a good day for the most part. Karsen had a rough morning because he refused to pee in the pull up he's a big boy (finally) and was freaking out. When he finally relieved himself he was all better. We had many visitors honestly too many to remember. He did tell everyone that Mommy's lawnmower did it. But he didn't seem upset when he said it. He enjoyed going on a walk in the wagon and playing on the third floor. Friday night we prepared for the next surgery.

The surgery Saturday morning was the one that would determine where exactly his leg would be amputated. Whether it would stay below the knee or if they would have to cut it up to the knee. We prayed hard for it to stay below because it will be easier on him and less stress on his body and energy. They took him in at 7:30 and came back to tell us at 9:10 that everything went great. His leg stayed the length it is and that they were able to stretch the muscle around his bone as well as the salvagable tissue. His calf muscle was still alive and doing good. They put a wound vac on it and that helps prepare the skin for a skin graft. He will have to have the wound thing changed on monday and wednesday and will then go in Friday for his skin graft. They plan to take some skin from his thigh to put around the back part of his leg to cover the calf muscle.

He has been absolutely amazing. His strength is astounding. He helps the nurses with everything and thanks them everytime they take a bandaid off or something that is bothering him. He even thanked the nurse when they took out his catheder. *or however you spell it.

He has managed to sit up and move around. He loves sitting on dad or my lap and loves all of his new toys.

I can tell all you parents out there that this experience is surreal. It has been the hardest thing I have ever ever imagined possible. I am grateful this little man is in my life he is my rock and literally completes our family. I don't know what we would do without him. I can't wait to see him progress and help others see that anything is possible. He is my inspiration to be a better stronger person.

I do have some strong emotions and feelings that I need to deal with but I know with time my Heavenly Father will help me heal as well. I thank Him everyday for my amazing family, friends and even strangers that care. I hate to even be asking for money at all it breaks my heart to think we even have too. I can't express my deepest gratitude for those that have donated there prayers, good vibes, thoughts, time, energy, love and money. Thank you for your continued love and support.

P.S. I am not a huge blogger so if you have questions please don't hesitate to ask. I am trying to curb everyone's curiosity because I know I would be curious too.

Much Love and Belief...

Trying to be positive......

2009-09-26T14:43:00.000-07:00

Rick and Karsen playing with a Transformer Mr. Potato head. Rick has told the other kids he is going to have a transformer foot. The best part is we bought his Optimus Prime costume on his birthday when we bought his bike.

Karsen Mery Trust Fund...

2009-09-25T12:20:00.000-07:00

On September 24th, just 2 days after his 3rd birthday, Karsen Mery had a very tragic accident with a lawn mower. This sweet toddler's leg was cut off to mid-calf. He's being really strong, and is stable and going to live. With many more surgeries to go, this family will face many outrageous hospital bills. The parents are self-employed, so this accident will strongly impact their ability to bring in income while getting care for their son. For these reasons, a trust fund has been set up to help the Mery family provide Karsen the best possible care. If able, donations can be made in his behalf into the Karsen Mery trust fund at Mountain America Credit Union or donate directly via a link on this site. Continue to check back for updates. Please keep Karsen and the Mery family in your thoughts and prayers. Miracles happen! If you'd like to read more details of the incident, his mother was brave enough to post them below. We know it's very hard for her to have to relive the incident in our behalf, but so many friends and family are curious. We felt it best that she posted it once, so she didn't have to retell it over and over. Please pray for Karsen, his family and Nicole (his loving mother)! They all have healing to do!

2009-09-25T09:00:00.000-07:00

The unfortunate truth...

2009-09-25T08:45:00.000-07:00

I am Karsen's mom and want to let you all know how this unfortunate event happened.
My husband Rick and I were outside working in the yard and Karsen was out front riding his new bike. He had his helmet on but no shoes (not sure why he had no shoes). We have a ride on lawn mower and I jumped on it and started mowing following Rick with the trimmer. Mind you I was grumpy and in a lot of pain and wanted to just get it done. Rick was out front and I was out back. Karsen walked towards me from the front and I thought to myself 'pick him up he's the only one home and he'd love to ride with you.' But my bad attitude and selfishness got the best of me and I told him to go play so I could just get it done. **Note to all you mothers follow your instincts and the promptings you receive. I then made a circle and was up along the fence. Our mower has had some problems so I was fidgeting with it along the fence trying to adjust the chute that the lawn goes up. I was in reverse and stopped for a second and then kept going. (This is where if you don't want the details you need to stop reading.)
I backed up and thought that the mower was grinding on the chute. Then something flew out of the mower and I stopped immediately. I jumped off of the mower and began screaming. My beautiful baby looked at me with a horror in his eyes I will never forget. I looked through the open gate and screamed for Rick and then pulled Karsen out from under the backside of the mower. All I saw was this bone sticking out and skin dangling. Thanks to Heavenly Father I had strength within me I never ever knew I had. I ran out to the car screaming with my cell phone in hand unable to make a call. All I could think was 'hold him tight so he doesn't lose more blood.' I jumped in my little Mary Kay car and Rick ran to grab the keys (which he couldn't find and explains the new hole he punched into the wall). We drove like bats out of hell literally to Jordan Valley hospital. I held his as tight as I could. All Karsen kept asking for was a bandaid. I informed him he needed a heck of a lot more then a bandaid. We ran him inside to find no one at the desk. I screamed for help and the janitor pointed us in the right direction. The whole place seemed to be shaking. I continued to hold his head as they tried cleaning out his leg. It was severed from mid-calf down and unsalvageable. As a mother I tried to keep it all together but the horror had the best of me. He was doing well for what it was. He was just crying till they sedated him to help him relax. They then life flighted him to Primary's where we met him. At the time we were at the hospital they sent Rick back to the house to salvage whatever parts he could. Unfortunately, the lawn mower chopped his foot in half and tore up everything. He brought back everything he could find.
I was grateful Rick was able to make the phone calls he did because I was completely beside myself. Heavenly Father made him the strongest man I know. His mom Debbi made it to Primary's as Karsen landed so she was here when we couldn't be and to that I am grateful.
The drive seemed to take forever but it gave me a chance to breakdown so I could be strong again when I saw my baby boy. My feelings and thoughts are indescribable and a whole other post.
They cleaned him up the best they could and are taking good care of him. This little man is the strongest little guy I know. He must get it from his dad. His vitals and blood pressure and everything stayed stable the whole time.

He went in for surgery around 2 while we waited. I can't tell you how much having family and dear friends with me helped has helped. I'm trying my hardest not to beat myself up. But I'm his mom and I did it so I do. Time will tell when I can forgive myself.

I only tell you all of this because so many are wondering. I don't want to relive the story over and over and only Rick has heard the entire thing in gory detail. (I give myself no excuses for what happened. Bad mood or not I should've listened. I have feared something like this would happen ever since we got that lawn mower two years ago. It is now gone . I asked for it to be removed from my home. I don't ever want to see it again. Whoever has it may try to sell it to help with the costs of this whole incident. Thank you!)

Please keep praying for him and I will update you on each detail of my baby Karsen's amazing recovery.

What a trooper!!

2009-09-25T08:25:00.000-07:00